Depression: The Great Imposter

When I heard that Robin Williams had died I wanted to write right away, wanted to make a statement. But I decided to wait for the comments of others to see if they could understand what he was going through. On a Fox News web page I ran across  the following information. Doctor Keith Ablow got it right when he wrote the following article click here.

The statements that he makes are, frankly, the best and most accurate description of depression that I have ever read.
I believe that I am going through the last of the most recent bout of the disease. I began to break it's hold on me when I inserted a phrase into the constant streaming negative comments running through my mind: these people around me are not thinking the same negative thoughts that I am thinking. I other words I worked on bringing myself back to reality. Over and over again I applied this to my thinking. Gradually reality would set in and I felt better.
As this was going on so was something else was as well and when I realized it and used it again and again reality again set in. The thing that was going on was that I realized that the time that I was enjoying laughing, feeling content, the depression ebbed. One might say, well of course! But it meant that I could control it. Just that realization set me to thinking. I said it over and over. Finally it started to work. I was fighting an Imposter. The negative thoughts (depression) were(are) the Imposter.
This is not all my own work. God had a lot to do with this pattern. I  see God as all powerful and would lay these negative thoughts on His back and realized that I would feel better. I knew the Bible was Holy and True. If the Bible said to do this, and It does, then He will follow through and take the negatives and turn them positive.
I find that one has to accept something as true and unassailable (unshakeable). To me that is God and His Word. Doubts will rise up, that is why the thought that God would help me had to be unshakeable. I realize that this pattern of thought is working. Yes, there are going to be lapses, but Hang on, strap yourself to the idea and use it time and again. It does work to break the depression. But to get to this place it am on a high level of drugs as well. But just the drugs alone were not enough to bring me to the current level of contentment.

Two Sites for Alternate Health

The other day I ran across two very interesting sites that have very promising treatments for depression.
One is on everyday health.com 

This info, or much of it, is covered in other posts on this blog. But some are not. The information on how Botox can be used and also the party drug Lanicemine is new. 

The second site is at www.watersure2.orghttp://www.watercure2.org/depression.htm

I am trying the water cure and am on my second day of the trial period.(I want to try until my symptoms force me to stop) that I am having muscle aches and pains, and if the headaches don't stop I will have to re-look at the salt factor in the combination. I may have to get the electrolytes through higher levels of my vitamin and mineral supplement.
I offer the information but take no responsibility as to the outcomes. That is up to you.

Other Health Issues

I thought that I had, through a different type of medication( for bipolar, and not just depression) and a new doctor that I had gotten the disease under control. Well, I had always said that if I had to have pain that I would rather have physical pain and not mental.
Well, now the two are combined and that is a blow. But I have also learn in the depressed times in the past that if I get my mind off of the depression through, say, singing along with positive songs on the Christian radio station, the depression will lift. It does work.
I think that singing along with positive music does two things:

• Makes you come out of the current thought pattern(s) that you are struggling with and

• focuses your thoughts on the bigger issues in life. Like peace and the light that is in life inherently. It is there, whether you can feel it in your thoughts or not.....

Medication can make you see this more clearly. But there is a stronger presence in believing in something bigger than you.  Depression when viewed bigger than you will win over you. Ask Some One (God) to take away that pain (depression) by giving it every minute to HIM. Every time the problem (depression) comes, look towards the light and just believe that HE has taken the discontent onto HIS shoulders. HE is bigger than you. HE can handle anything. Some times it takes years to realize this. Faith wavers. Depression will come and go because it is the way you have always reacted to the situations that your life is full of. THINK ON THIS. At least it will be a different way of thinking, and depression is a selfish way of thinking. I know I still have the pattern of depressive thoughts haunting me, and it is hard. When the problems wash over me I have to give my thoughts to HIM, let HIM deal with it.
Whether you are religious or not, you have to know that there is a larger thing out in life that can lift you. You did not make nature, God did, you are selfish to turn away from what is true.

Well I know that was a rant on God, it deserves to be looked into. There is something bigger than your problems.

Bipolar Another Diagnoses

Bipolar is just another face of the same disease which is depression. My psychiatrist that has been treating me for about 18 months has diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, OCD, and now bipolar. I have been through all these in the past 18 months.  My type appears to be bipolar two. That is where the depression is much more in effect than the mania. In fact the psychiatrist said that my mania is just bringing me back to a near normal state not a true mania. Mania is where a person is euphoric and perceives themselves as special somehow. They spend money that they can't afford. Their own behavior is risky in matters of sex, money, personal relationships, and their behavior at work as well is risky and ill advised.
So I am just experiencing another face of the same problem.

Bipolar: What I have?

I have been searching for what is wrong with me for all my life. Maybe now I can at least get some answers. The following blog entry may shed some light on the subject www.Yes and Yes.org

Her story is different than mine, but it would explain many things that I have been going through not only now, but all my life. When I did the completely natural thing with my diet and got off all meds, I ended up in a mental hospital.  When I went off I still cycled between feeling barely good to down in the dumps. At that time it was weekly. Rather steady and I thought it was allergies. That certain foods caused a reaction which was depression. Needless to say this led to a limited diet which ended up in a compulsive obsession that food and the environment was the source of my depression. This led to an outbreak in anxiety attacks. I feared to eat foods, be in certain places. I was spiraling down into a breakdown. I still go and get allergy shots, but I know that anxiety fed my allergies and their intensity.
I asked the allergy doctor if allergies in general triggered anxiety. He agreed with me that they did. He leaned in close to me and told me that he could help me with my allergies. Period. But what ever I had that went past them was in my head. Maybe not in those words, but with that intent. I returned home and went and sat in the room that before was not "cleaned" up enough from the dust and dust mites. And I realized that my fear of that room and  its dirt was gone.
Almost that quickly did my other fears decreased. I did not run out of my outside area at work anymore. Before I did because of my fear of the environment. That realization and yes, medications. I think that the knowledge that I am taking shots for the allergies and the psych medications for anxiety and depression is helping just as much as the actual medications for both.

Back in Depression Again

Have you ever noticed that when you are going down into a depression and hurting inside people around you really are tired of hearing about it. I am tired of complaining about it as well. Maybe it is only a perception on my part. But it is still there.
I notice that my thoughts take a certain path as depression moves in. I have memories of past situations that are interpeted as negitive presently (now) but when they happened they were not negitive. I see everything through a type of gauze made of depression. The thoughts have nothing to do with what is going on at present.
Physically I become fatigued past all coffee or engery drink(s). Sleep does not refresh me. When I look at the chores for the day they overwhelm me. They aren't any different than other chores that I had to do without the depression. It just is a huge wall standing between me and my life.
People that do not have to deal with this disease will not understand that you are locked into the situation. Try as you might to move the wall you can not.
For me I have been leaning on Christ more and more. I am reading the Bible on my IPad. It is less intimidating than that huge book called "THE BIBLE". Yet the bible study things like maps, bible dictionaries etc are on the IPad and in the Bible Study App by Olive Tree.
So I am learning small steps at a time. This world and this depression is bigger than me. I need help with it.  More than just medications. Period.

Potassium is Another Key

I was having muscle twitching and began drinking coconut water after a pharmacist suggested it. I was concerned about the sugar content for I pre-diabetic. She said that coconut water was what contained a hefty amount  of potassium and should be consumed rather than gator aid.
As I increased the amount of potassium the depression decreased.
Check out these websites EzineMark, livestrong.com, and to caution against overdoing it and that danger check this out Metabolism Associates.

Study the relationship of sodium and potassium as well as calcium and magnesium. Getting all these nutrients in the right balance will help in your fight with depression.

Check this out as well for medications that deplete potassium University of Maryland Medical Center

My husband takes blood pressure medication  and he was hospitalized for passing out caused by potassium deficiency.

I also suffer from carpal tunnel when I get low on potassium.

Check out this from Web MD

What to Expect

The normal range for potassium is 3.6 to 4.8 milliequivalents per liter or mEq/l. Anything below 3.6 is considered low. Anything below 2.5 could be life-threatening. You can have a mildly low potassium level for years and have only mild fatigue or leg cramps at times. Often, low potassium is discovered during a routine blood test. As levels of potassium get lower, symptoms increase. If the level goes below 2 mEq/l, there may be total collapse and loss of muscle function. Usually, symptoms go away with treatment. Some abnormal heart rhythms, though, may take time to come back to normal.

Also check this out from the same source:

What are the risks of taking potassium?

• Side effects. At normal doses, potassium is fairly safe. It may cause an upset stomach. Some people have allergies to potassium supplements.
• Interactions. Potassium supplements may not be safe if you take certain medicines for diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. Check with your doctor first if you take any medications before you take potassium supplements.
• Warnings. People with kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, Addison's disease, stomach ulcers, or other health problems should never take potassium supplements without talking to a doctor first.
• Overdose. Signs of a potassium overdose include confusion, tingling sensation in the limbs, low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, weakness, and coma. Get emergency medical help immediately.