The last adjustment on the implant was about a month ago. Many stressful things have happened since then. The first two weeks I was feeling the tingling in the brain most of the time. (Tingling in the lower left rear quadrant of the brain has happen for many years. It now happens after prayer, singing, using traction on the neck, all releasing chemicals, perhaps serotonin-editor) Then I had a period of time that I was constantly on the move and did not have a minute to myself for about two weeks. Then the tiredness started, it lasted for two days and then the anxiety came full blown and then the depression. I will say that the depression was not as deep. This was the first time since the implant was turned on that I had a full blown episode. but at least I knew that with the implant it would decrease within hours. Knowing that really helped. I still am not totally back, but it is much better with each day. If I get stressed during the day the anxiety comes, but I can control it with my thoughts.
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Things Much better
I feel much better, less tense, mood is up, migraine lights ring my vision. Maybe I am bipolar? Or maybe stuff just over loads me and I go down about every 7-10 days? I am back up and am singing and concentration is better. It seems to come over me once every 7 to 10 days and it has been doing this for years.
My goal is to limit my sleep to just what ever I get at night. Eliminate the nap.I know that it is a small goal, but I have done it before and feel I can do it now eventually .
I am constantly battling the depression and the OCD, and would like to break out of the mold and start thinking of others more. But I am in so much pain mentally. It has been better since the implant. The way I like to describe the pain is what one feels when one has a romantic break up, but multiplied about 100 times. Or what one feels when one can't remember a happy moment, ever.
My goal is to limit my sleep to just what ever I get at night. Eliminate the nap.I know that it is a small goal, but I have done it before and feel I can do it now eventually .
I am constantly battling the depression and the OCD, and would like to break out of the mold and start thinking of others more. But I am in so much pain mentally. It has been better since the implant. The way I like to describe the pain is what one feels when one has a romantic break up, but multiplied about 100 times. Or what one feels when one can't remember a happy moment, ever.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Dreams
I am having a dream life that I have never had before. Just weird stuff, some nightmares, some just working stuff out. But so many of them. And I am sleeping throughout the night now.
I am very happy at work, singing along with the nearby music, even dancing to it. I have never been this happy, consistently. Migraines are still here. The silent ones, with the floaters. The visual stuff seems worse in the mornings. No big splitting headaches.
I want to exercise all the time, to move my limbs in time with nearby music. To sing to it. It is joyous.
I am very happy at work, singing along with the nearby music, even dancing to it. I have never been this happy, consistently. Migraines are still here. The silent ones, with the floaters. The visual stuff seems worse in the mornings. No big splitting headaches.
I want to exercise all the time, to move my limbs in time with nearby music. To sing to it. It is joyous.
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