Thought Bubbles: Holley Gerth says it Again!

I think that God has sent this lady to help many. Here are her words

On the way to a crazy 50 mile bike ride with my husband I text back and forth with my wonderful friend. Our conversation sounds kinda like this: Me: Why am I doing this? Friend: I have no idea. Me: Because I like a challenge? Because my hubby wants me to? Because there will be free snacks along the route? I can’t put my finger on the motivation. I turn from texting to the screen of my Kindle. These words from Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard jump off the page at me… “We essentially ask ourselves three questions when we have a decision to make: Who am I? What kind of situation is this? What would someone like me do in this situation?” –Chip and Dan Heath We think we make decisions based on facts and rational thinking. It turns out a lot of times our decisions are based on our identities–both who we believe we are now and who we aspire to be in the future. I was doing that 50 mile bike ride because I wanted to be the kind of wife who does stuff like that with her husband. Huh. That identity push was powerful enough to get me up at the crack of dawn and take me through 50 miles of riding. Why does understanding this matter? Because it means if our identity is based on untruth then we will make decisions that are out of line with God’s best for us. If I believe I’m someone with nothing to offer then I’ll hold back. If I believe my life doesn’t have a purpose then I’ll be more likely to live without intention. If I believe God should have made me different than I will be hesitant to use the strengths and gifts He’s placed within me. On the other hand… If I believe I’m who God has created me to be and He’s given me what I need to accomplish all He’s called me to do then I will make decisions that move me forward in His purpose for my life. Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Heb. 12:1-2 What hinders us? Often it’s what we believe about who we are. Do we all struggle with this? Of course. And we will until the day we’re home in heaven forever. But we can stand at the starting line of a new day together and say, “This is who God says I am. And because of that, I will be different today.” Let’s persevere in our race, friend. Are you ready to move forward together? You just finished reading Why who you think you are matters ! Consider leaving a comment! Would you like to subscribe by email? {yep, it's free} Book: You're Already Amazing {e}coaching: I'm the girl to know when you're ready to grow.

Stress, Self Esteem, Trust

In order to stabilize myself and run my life I have to realize that things are as stressful as I permit them to be. I can dwell on them, repeating them in my mind and I get more and more depressed. Toxic thoughts cause stress and are hard to control unless one deliberately replaces the negative thoughts with the positive. A favorite bible passage usually works. The Lord will perfect all that concerns me (Psalm 138:8). Fill your mind with it. Every negative thought must be fought. Refuse to dwell on the situation and the situation diminishes.
Another way to handle stress is to have a quiet time with God. In times past work and it's rewards were more important than God. Family time was left unattended to. Yes,  run run run, and all for the promise of what, a paycheck ? Yes we all do it. We are to have balance as well.  I did it for all the regular reasons, house,car, food (lol). Dread of being  unemployed, etc.
God says develop a relationship with Him and He will provide--for everything.  That is what the quite time with Him is for.
Being creative is another way to stop stress. One must take that time to create. Cook, paint,  write, sculpt.  Any creative thing. It is as important as eating correctly.
Exercise, each day. It eliminates toxins, oxygenates the brain. I couldn't get any benefit from it for the longest time because I had no energy from eating the wrong foods all the time.  Allergic reaction to foods and the increased inflammation  from that caused and still causes fatigue.
God has given me the message that I am to take care of my physical health first and right next to that, not below it, my closeness to Him. If I do this and not worry about anything else He will provide and I will proser.
Self esteem is related to stress in that the amount of things that I get done, the higher my self esteem sores. But the more I get done the more tasks I  take on.   Pushing myself to do more causes more stress.    Catch 22. That is what I am working on constantly. Why do I have to obtain self love from working myself to death. Knowing that I am alright with out the always run run attitude is the answer. God says that I am more than all of this. He loves me and has a plan just for me, and He will put the plan in place at the time of His choosing.
Trust is another component in the mixture. Trust God to do what He says He will do.  He will protect you, loves you, wants only good for you. After prayer, discussion with friends, you must trust yourself, your vision, and when God answers you, trust that answer.

Self Esteem and our search for It.

True Self Esteem does not come from projects and goals outside of ourselves. God loves us for who we are just as we are. We no longer have to show others constantly our "new" projects, to feel our true worth. We have love and worth form God our true Father, and we are made whole from that.


My father was not an emotionally close man. He could do anything with his hands, and that is where I got my ability to work with my hands. But God my Father knows me and every cell in me. Every skin cell, brain cell, and I want Him to know me. I don't want to hide. He knows I am a crumble of emotions at times. He knows my artistic ego, which I must work through. And yet he still loves me, cares for me and draws me near Him. He kept doing this all through the deepest part of the depression. And when I slip into the depression again, I seek Him to hold even closer.


Self Esteem is gained not through others and their acceptance of us. But from us knowing that once we accept what Jesus (God) has done for us and that He is always standing by us, as The Great Stabilizer, the Great Love of my life. Why do I need others to accept what I do? I just need to love them, to reflect God on to them, and to do what God says to do. God says to love and accept others just as they are. Period. 

Another contact

Jennifer Bette called me today and stated that the out of pocket expense would be about 5000 dollars and there were some other costs that she has to nail down. There would be at least 1000 dollars in deductible to pay as well. for me anything under 10000 would be a go. Of course, the less the better. So it took a month to get this information. And it came with a stipulation that there are a few more costs as yet unknown. I swear that I almost went to the newspaper and was going to let them know that the hospital staff was uncooperative, and ineffective at best. We shall see.
I called Cheryl and let her know that Jennifer finally called and thanked her for help. We still have to get through the implantation and activation of the device.
Dr. Corbyons appointment is for 2/14/08. He will at that time go over a few more things, and then we will set the appointment for the procedure. I am not so sure about why this appointment is necessary, we will see.
I am trying to realize that this procedure will not be a panacea for the thought patterns that persist. I have OCD thoughts, thoughts of terrible sins for which I will be rejected from heaven(?) Just plain stupid continuous thoughts, but they are not there when I am up. So I know somehow that they are connected. Whether it is caused by lack of serotonin or one of the other nerotransmitters, OCD thoughts are insidious and just a part of the condition.
Also memory is impaired. I can write to someone on one day and completely forget about it just the next day. This happens everyday all day long with just about everything in my life. Perhaps this procedure will help the memories come back.
I can see a movie and not remember any of it just a few weeks afterwords. Maybe this is common when the movie is a dud. But this happens almost with every thing I engage in.
Self esteem has always been a problem, and now at 52 it seems that I have developed a compassionate inner voice that is at times small, but it is growing. this is important, for if you can not accept that your mind, your mental part is deffective your self esteem falters. And you crumble. People on the outside can not see that you are incompassitated, for physically you are whole. So there can't be anything wrong with you. If you appear "up" in your dealings with people it doesn't matter that you
are on 5 different medications just to get along,so that you can work, and not cry and not dwell on suicidal thoughts all the time.

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