Another Night

The psychiatrist upped the strength of the Luvox to 200 mg. The Horror Dreams have stopped. Most of the healthy habits that I have developed over the past two years are down the drain as I rebel against a life style that reminds me of compulsive and obsessive behavior patterns. This is not good for the other aliments that plaque me. I am angry that I have given up most everything in the line of food that was fun to eat in fear that I was allergic to it. And somehow that the depression was linked to the allergic reaction. I am constantly wanting a reason for the depression. I think that is logical, but it isn't when you deal with a scatalogical disease like this depression.

• There is a song written with these lyrics that talk of God: You must think I am strong to give me what I am going through. It keeps running through my head these days.

Thought Bubbles:Terror

This whole thing of being diagnosed with dust mite, dust, grass allergies. Has been two things : relief to know that it is an allergy situation :pain in the ass to know that as an allergy it may never go away.
How does God fit into this?crying in the night to Him when the depression is on me. Then relief sets in as the drug settles in and somehow I pull back from Him. I want to search for Him even when the pain and fear subsides. For the face of God,as I see Him is loving. His hands hold me, as I walk through this, my terror.

Natural Allergy Relief

I have tried Golden Seal and it affects me in a strange way, so I got off of it and re-read the label. I think I was taking to much at once. Must build up on it first. Check this site out:
http://www.webmd.com/allergies/features/natural-allergy-relief?page=2

Steroids brought into the fight

Started steroids on the 11th. It was a shot given in right buttock. Outside the next day. All most unbearable. Using oregano and filters as well. Into the tunnel to breathe every so often. I must get through this. There is no other financial solution.
Bible passages: the Lord is my rock. I know He is here with me now.
The allergist seems to be extremely unfair with his new patients and for their first visit he makes them pay any funds left to pay on their deductible for that year. Mine now would be about three thousand dollars. I am punished because I have been healthy this year. And the statements of collection agencies and 90 day payment deadlines, they are scary and means this place is expensive. I want to gather information and pray about this.
I have prayed and decided to call and talk to them at Dr. Anderson's, and  have spoke with them this morning and only need the co-pay-60.00 to see them on the first visit. It is scary because my mind continues in panic/anxiety/depression mode from  the allergy.

Safflower Oil

As I write this I suspect that one of the ingredients for the bread that I baked has caused a new depression. The depression does not  have the itchy feet as the mold allergy induced depression does. But I do believe it is a "new" food. New to me, not eaten before. That food is safflower oil. It is the only new food that I have had in the last 36 hours. I have come to realize that if I can find a new food in my recent eating history leave it alone for three days and try it again and have the same results, then if I have been careful enough to isolate all the other foods that have been consumed to just "known" good foods, it is very probable that the new food is the culprit. I ate the offending food, safflower oil, three times in two days. It is the only new food in the diet at this time.
By "known" I mean all other foods are known to me as safe foods, not causing an allergy induced depression.

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More foods causing Problems

I am still using the chelator DMSA. I have the research that tells me that it is probable that my allergy problems and heavy metal problems could indeed be related. Once the levels of heavy metals go down then the body has a chance to start healing itself of the allergies that are stymieing it. At least get them to the point that they bother me less. I have hopes for this as noted in previous entries.
What I have been noticing since I have been reading Brain Allergies: Is this your Child? by Doris Rapp, is that yes indeed, most symptoms listed in the book are occurring to me and are attached to food, or environmental factors. I noticed some things that initially frightened me. More foods seemed to be causing the symptoms than I had noted before. But when I contemplated this, it only made more sense. I found that rice and chicken could be added to the "allergic to" list. But this only made sense since every time I ate these foods in the past I did indeed have problems. But rice? and chicken? But I tested it and yes indeed the depression and other symptoms did reoccur when the foods were eaten several different times.