Night before last I had nightmares galore. Calling out David's name, falling out of bed and skinned knee. This only happens when there is not enough medications. Anxiety in the morning, waning in mid afternoon. I ate carbs until the anxiety felt better (wow wee zowwee on the weight). But no nightmares last night. This AM better, much so. It takes about two to three weeks for a drug to wash out of your system, so I am now feeling the effects of the first drug draw down. I am feeling a little of fibermyalgia, late yesterday, a little less today.This is the first nightmare sequence that I have had in a long time. It happened on the night of the 26th morning of the 27th.
Showing posts with label fibermyalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fibermyalgia. Show all posts
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
A call in the night
Got home last night to find the doctor's number on the voice mail. Dr. Corbyon. And a call from Cheryl. I have everything set up, but there might be a hitch some where. So today I will call.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
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