Showing posts with label quality of life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quality of life. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Aunt Martha's health

A letter to Bonnie, my cousin. Martha, her mother has been diagnosed with bi-polar disease.
Bonnie,
I was told late last year that medications could no longer help me in my struggle with depression. So I decided, after much prayer and research to go with VNS therapy. I had been following the developing technology since 1999. This is for depression, and bi-polar problems. The original application was for epilepsy and when epileptics began to feel better more research was done. I was implanted 2/26/08 and the device was turned on two weeks later. I have been steadily improving since. There have been down times because of stressors (teeth problems) and heat (working out in it) that have effected me. But overall my medications are being decreased and I am doing much better. Thinking, motivation, being almost normal once again. The device gets better with time. Most people do not respond as rapidly as I did. But it truly has been a miracle for me. My migraines are less powerful, depression is gone most of the time. Emotions, though right below the surface, are more controllable and I can deal with everyday things more effectively. It was the quality of life that I went for. Maybe that is what we should all look for in the treatment of the mentally ill.
Now back to my comments.
The oral antibiotic Cipro through me for a loop. It increased the depression to suicidal thoughts. Once it was stopped, and the blood level decreased, the depression went away. The infection in the tooth has decreased and I feel much better overall. It still is there, but less painful. I am going to have more teeth problems and I think that knowing that that will effect the depression gives me strength to endure it. (Knowing where the depression was coming from started the come back from it.-editor)



Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The co-pay Sucks

On October the tenth the insurance company came through with the coverage for the implant of the VNS device. But there is a big block to getting the procedure because of the copay of 1000.00 and the need to pay 30% of allowable costs. My work place insurance has over the years been cut bit by bit and now I am thinking of getting some kind of supplemental insurance.
Cheryl called me on Friday last and said she could talk to me about the copay. I've not have had the time to call her back; I've been working long hours and all day shifts. I will get back to her very soon.
I believe the cost of the procedure is 30,000,and I don't have that kind of funding.
A co-worker reported that maybe I can work out a deal with a surgeon that would just take the amount that the insurance pays and not want anymore. This type of deal is called assignment. I will take that up with Cheryl and the doctor.As yet I have not been assigned to a surgeon.
Doctor Figeuroa said that he wanted me to wait for three months to see what the Cymbalta will do. I am at 90 mil of Cymbalta, 200mil of Provigal, 60mil of paxil, and 50 mil of melaris. I am hoping if I have this procedure done that the amount of medications will go down, that I will be more stable emotionally, that the medications that I do take would work better and that I can better manage the disease.
I have noticed that when I am up and not on the borderline with depression that I am
more confident, less sheepist, quicker in response, more witty in combating sarcasm, and less clingy to negative thoughts. That is in essence the quality of life is there. I can handle life better in many ways. This may indeed sound selfish, but I don't have the time to sit and stew and try new self help plans that sound good, but in the end go nowhere.
In the vein of self help, I have tried everything under the sun. Nutritional pathways have worked for a few weeks, and then they are impotent and I am at square one again.
This up and down, uneven life that I have had to live only makes problems seem larger than life itself.



Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Information Quest

The Cymbalta upgrade did the trick. I can now remember when I have been happy. (Having to have a drug to remember when I was happy.) Over the past month Dave and I have gone to LA to celebrate our 30th anniversary and we had the best time. It is the quality of life that I am after.  On the vacation the colors seemed so rich, so vivid, and they had a quality of cuteness about them that had me laughing. Upon returning to the daily routine of work the depression came on strong again. I tried to recall the vacation experience, and the colors were less vivid. Some of the images were not all there. Partial images floated around in my memory. I manually put the colors back into the memory and the depression decreased.
The Cyberonics Corp. has paired me with an insurance specialist by the name of Cheryl and she has sent more paperwork for me to follow up on. The folks at Dr. Figeuroa's office have sent info in to Cheryl and I will follow up on my end. When I tried to contact therapist Anne Bercik I could not get in touch with her. Her phone number(s) are not working. But I will try through the State of Florida licensing board. Cheryl wants a list of the pharmaceutical medications that I have been on and the people at Walgreens said that all I needed was an ID and they could research it for me. I will also find out what I need to know on how I am to get my hospital records of when I went in for psychiatric problems.
I know that I have not had as much a problem as some people in the area of hospitalization, but there are and were days that I should have gone in, but I felt that others would stigmatize me for that.



Friday, July 6, 2007

Family's Reaction

I had hoped that of all the people in my circle that would understand my plight would be my brother, John. I love and respect him and honor the fact that more than likely he will always be there for me. He has steadily maintained that if I just eat right, exercise, and pray and learn to balance stress that everything would be OK. To a certain extent I can see his point. I have been doing that very thing for the last six months and over the years that this has affected me I,  have tried all sorts of combinations of food, meditation, medications, prayer, exercise and psychotherapies that I could afford. I am by no means perfect in following all these programs either when they are combined or separate. But, I'm going through yet another down turn at this time.
I just would like to point out if I had a viewable handicap instead of a deficient brain that it would be socially inexcusable to ask me to carry on as if everything is normal. This treatment of "just buck up","hunker down", or any such advice is frustratingly constant. I guess because I am not lying under covers and crying constantly (which did happen about three years ago) that I can cope with life, and I better well stop my quest for living a higher quality of life. Ah, that is the quest, the quality of life, the feeling of a happy memory that can be recalled at any time, an ability that most people have. It is the difference between living the life that God intended, or existing as a shell. A shell pumped full of drugs.