OCD in on the mix?

In a email to my sister Edna.


Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. Once I am stable, and I am getting there, I will continue to move on with projects and dreams that I still have. The psychiatrist has said that my OCD, which is what I have had for 40 years causes the depression. She has changed the medications once again, and will connect me with a cognitive behavioral therapist. One that will teach me how to combat the constant negative thoughts that come to me. I blow things completely out of proportion to the negative and this leads to the depressions. Taking the anti-anxiety drugs for the past week and I do feel much better. Things are not as overwhelming as before this current stay in the hospital. 

Work will be another challenge, which I am facing daily. Talking to management and upper management. I hope that I  have not worn out their ears with my problems. I don't think so. They know of the depressions and what kind of things I have done to negate the problems that they may have caused the business over the years. We will see by this morning, and by tomorrow when the new schedule comes out. One day at a time.

rTMS Therapy

This past depressive episode and the return to medications has me thinking that I would like to be off the medications once again. The VNS unit, when turned up increases the appetite and I have to eat every hour and can not sleep. If these things can be solved I would turn up the device, but right now I don't know how to get past that aspect of the device. So I am looking elsewhere and I found TMS therapy. Click here

Upped the Medications

I boosted the Xyzal up by half a pill on the 19th of November. I noted a great increase in balance, mood, and energy, a lessening of itchy skin. I take the half pill on arising, which is about 4 am these days.

The chiropractor's new adjustment with the traction collar device has helped greatly. I notice the difference almost immediately. He was adamant that I not return to medication. I thought that I had to to maintain hours at the job. Period. He doesn't know what the pain of anxiety and depression does on income. I am concerned about the poisoning of my body by the chemicals that I have decided to put back into the body, but I have to pay the mortgage.

Aunt Martha's health

A letter to Bonnie, my cousin. Martha, her mother has been diagnosed with bi-polar disease.
Bonnie,
I was told late last year that medications could no longer help me in my struggle with depression. So I decided, after much prayer and research to go with VNS therapy. I had been following the developing technology since 1999. This is for depression, and bi-polar problems. The original application was for epilepsy and when epileptics began to feel better more research was done. I was implanted 2/26/08 and the device was turned on two weeks later. I have been steadily improving since. There have been down times because of stressors (teeth problems) and heat (working out in it) that have effected me. But overall my medications are being decreased and I am doing much better. Thinking, motivation, being almost normal once again. The device gets better with time. Most people do not respond as rapidly as I did. But it truly has been a miracle for me. My migraines are less powerful, depression is gone most of the time. Emotions, though right below the surface, are more controllable and I can deal with everyday things more effectively. It was the quality of life that I went for. Maybe that is what we should all look for in the treatment of the mentally ill.
Now back to my comments.
The oral antibiotic Cipro through me for a loop. It increased the depression to suicidal thoughts. Once it was stopped, and the blood level decreased, the depression went away. The infection in the tooth has decreased and I feel much better overall. It still is there, but less painful. I am going to have more teeth problems and I think that knowing that that will effect the depression gives me strength to endure it. (Knowing where the depression was coming from started the come back from it.-editor)

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Decent Into Withdrawal

Night before last I had nightmares galore. Calling out David's name, falling out of bed and skinned knee. This only happens when there is not enough medications. Anxiety in the morning, waning in mid afternoon. I ate carbs until the anxiety felt better (wow wee zowwee on the weight). But no nightmares last night. This AM better, much so. It takes about two to three weeks for a drug to wash out of your system, so I am now feeling the effects of the first drug draw down. I am feeling a little of fibermyalgia, late yesterday, a little less today.This is the first nightmare sequence that I have had in a long time. It happened on the night of the 26th morning of the 27th.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com