The Reality of the Thing.....

As I lay in bed yesterday afternoon in terror of another panic attack a unique thought occurred to me.
The words "The Reality of  the thing is......" popped into my head. I began to I began to challenge the automatic negative thought (ANTs) patterns with the present. With the present. Not only with positive affirmations that I learned about in the PHP (partial hospital program) that was the therapy part of what I call the "lock up" noted in the blog earlier, but what was happening right then. Thought watching, cognitive thought watching. It worked. Calmed anxiety, brought back an amount of sanity that was just enough to build on.


I went out to Disney to visit my husband as he worked and we watched and fed the squirrels that are his buddies as he works. I am sleeping strange hours now, writing in the very early hours of the mornings, listening to Z88.3 Christian Radio, or yesterday, Warner Brother cartoons. So, I try to go an be with hubby when I can. Miraculously after all of this my husband of 34 years loves me still. We live for each other and crave each other. Thank God for that. A tear slips down from the right eye. He sleeps in the other room because of my strange sleep patterns. 


That is the REALITY OF THE THING......

Thought Bubbles: Hugs

Thought Bubbles:  Hugs

In this, what I call a "lock up" there're no hugs.

We can't even reach out and touch a human, with what we know would comfort them.  That most shocked me. That and the scalding pot, looking glass that God dropped me into.

I met a young woman, who like me, grabbed her Bible as she ran from one confused situation to another. if we could all grab that book, and  plop it open and search for the comfort that it brings.  letting the Spirit drift into the soul. And like a sponge searching for living water, soak it up.

Her name was Meghan. I hope I find you friend. The times we shared the verse that we should cast our cares on the Lord for he careth for you. Or the one about eagles wings.

This lock up was a place were people go who are in crisis.  Drug withdrawals,  medicine imbalances.. When you go in you are desperate. Very.  You are stripped of all electronic devices.  Our toys,   But our connections to the outside world as well. Everything that could harm you, yourself, or anyone else. Is taken. When we totally give ourselves to God I think it is like that.