OCD in on the mix?

In a email to my sister Edna.


Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. Once I am stable, and I am getting there, I will continue to move on with projects and dreams that I still have. The psychiatrist has said that my OCD, which is what I have had for 40 years causes the depression. She has changed the medications once again, and will connect me with a cognitive behavioral therapist. One that will teach me how to combat the constant negative thoughts that come to me. I blow things completely out of proportion to the negative and this leads to the depressions. Taking the anti-anxiety drugs for the past week and I do feel much better. Things are not as overwhelming as before this current stay in the hospital. 

Work will be another challenge, which I am facing daily. Talking to management and upper management. I hope that I  have not worn out their ears with my problems. I don't think so. They know of the depressions and what kind of things I have done to negate the problems that they may have caused the business over the years. We will see by this morning, and by tomorrow when the new schedule comes out. One day at a time.

Return to Work

I return to work today after one month off. I want this job, for the creativity and interaction with people and kids that I need. It may come to the point that I have to go for SSI and will find out soon if I can get that. Therapist Sheldon will let me know more on the 29th.
I can only hope that I can get some help, sometime, if not now in the future, hopefully before I lose it all, the house, the job, etc. But you know, I don't fear the worse, because somehow I know that dwelling on that would cause more sickness. I must just get through just that next couple of hours. Just that, the rest will take care of it's self.