Latuda

Yesterday while I was looking in my 'this drug doesn't work' bag I found some Latuda. When I looked in this blog I found no mention of Latuda. I would have brought this up to the doctor if I had remembered. That is what this blog is for. Arrrgh! That and spreading the word about how things effect me.

I am going to have the VNS (vagus nerve stimulator) device adjusted. Perhaps it will help me at this time. It seems not to work anyways. The adjustment will happen on the seventh. I will document it one way or the other. The last time I had it adjusted was right before my 2011 hospital stay. That stay was for mental health. I felt good for several days. But it was too strong because it caused increased appetite. I had to eat every hour even throughout the night. I had to eat or the metabolism caused me pain. I had to reduce the device down. We will see what it does this time. We will work at the adjustments more with more patience and perhaps it will, at 100 dollars a pop be adjusted correctly.

Two Sites for Alternate Health

The other day I ran across two very interesting sites that have very promising treatments for depression.
One is on everyday health.com 

This info, or much of it, is covered in other posts on this blog. But some are not. The information on how Botox can be used and also the party drug Lanicemine is new. 

The second site is at www.watersure2.orghttp://www.watercure2.org/depression.htm

I am trying the water cure and am on my second day of the trial period.(I want to try until my symptoms force me to stop) that I am having muscle aches and pains, and if the headaches don't stop I will have to re-look at the salt factor in the combination. I may have to get the electrolytes through higher levels of my vitamin and mineral supplement.
I offer the information but take no responsibility as to the outcomes. That is up to you.

Other Health Issues

I thought that I had, through a different type of medication( for bipolar, and not just depression) and a new doctor that I had gotten the disease under control. Well, I had always said that if I had to have pain that I would rather have physical pain and not mental.
Well, now the two are combined and that is a blow. But I have also learn in the depressed times in the past that if I get my mind off of the depression through, say, singing along with positive songs on the Christian radio station, the depression will lift. It does work.
I think that singing along with positive music does two things:

• Makes you come out of the current thought pattern(s) that you are struggling with and

• focuses your thoughts on the bigger issues in life. Like peace and the light that is in life inherently. It is there, whether you can feel it in your thoughts or not.....

Medication can make you see this more clearly. But there is a stronger presence in believing in something bigger than you.  Depression when viewed bigger than you will win over you. Ask Some One (God) to take away that pain (depression) by giving it every minute to HIM. Every time the problem (depression) comes, look towards the light and just believe that HE has taken the discontent onto HIS shoulders. HE is bigger than you. HE can handle anything. Some times it takes years to realize this. Faith wavers. Depression will come and go because it is the way you have always reacted to the situations that your life is full of. THINK ON THIS. At least it will be a different way of thinking, and depression is a selfish way of thinking. I know I still have the pattern of depressive thoughts haunting me, and it is hard. When the problems wash over me I have to give my thoughts to HIM, let HIM deal with it.
Whether you are religious or not, you have to know that there is a larger thing out in life that can lift you. You did not make nature, God did, you are selfish to turn away from what is true.

Well I know that was a rant on God, it deserves to be looked into. There is something bigger than your problems.

Back in Depression Again

Have you ever noticed that when you are going down into a depression and hurting inside people around you really are tired of hearing about it. I am tired of complaining about it as well. Maybe it is only a perception on my part. But it is still there.
I notice that my thoughts take a certain path as depression moves in. I have memories of past situations that are interpeted as negitive presently (now) but when they happened they were not negitive. I see everything through a type of gauze made of depression. The thoughts have nothing to do with what is going on at present.
Physically I become fatigued past all coffee or engery drink(s). Sleep does not refresh me. When I look at the chores for the day they overwhelm me. They aren't any different than other chores that I had to do without the depression. It just is a huge wall standing between me and my life.
People that do not have to deal with this disease will not understand that you are locked into the situation. Try as you might to move the wall you can not.
For me I have been leaning on Christ more and more. I am reading the Bible on my IPad. It is less intimidating than that huge book called "THE BIBLE". Yet the bible study things like maps, bible dictionaries etc are on the IPad and in the Bible Study App by Olive Tree.
So I am learning small steps at a time. This world and this depression is bigger than me. I need help with it.  More than just medications. Period.

Potassium is Another Key

I was having muscle twitching and began drinking coconut water after a pharmacist suggested it. I was concerned about the sugar content for I pre-diabetic. She said that coconut water was what contained a hefty amount  of potassium and should be consumed rather than gator aid.
As I increased the amount of potassium the depression decreased.
Check out these websites EzineMark, livestrong.com, and to caution against overdoing it and that danger check this out Metabolism Associates.

Study the relationship of sodium and potassium as well as calcium and magnesium. Getting all these nutrients in the right balance will help in your fight with depression.

Check this out as well for medications that deplete potassium University of Maryland Medical Center

My husband takes blood pressure medication  and he was hospitalized for passing out caused by potassium deficiency.

I also suffer from carpal tunnel when I get low on potassium.

Check out this from Web MD

What to Expect

The normal range for potassium is 3.6 to 4.8 milliequivalents per liter or mEq/l. Anything below 3.6 is considered low. Anything below 2.5 could be life-threatening. You can have a mildly low potassium level for years and have only mild fatigue or leg cramps at times. Often, low potassium is discovered during a routine blood test. As levels of potassium get lower, symptoms increase. If the level goes below 2 mEq/l, there may be total collapse and loss of muscle function. Usually, symptoms go away with treatment. Some abnormal heart rhythms, though, may take time to come back to normal.

Also check this out from the same source:

What are the risks of taking potassium?

• Side effects. At normal doses, potassium is fairly safe. It may cause an upset stomach. Some people have allergies to potassium supplements.
• Interactions. Potassium supplements may not be safe if you take certain medicines for diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. Check with your doctor first if you take any medications before you take potassium supplements.
• Warnings. People with kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, Addison's disease, stomach ulcers, or other health problems should never take potassium supplements without talking to a doctor first.
• Overdose. Signs of a potassium overdose include confusion, tingling sensation in the limbs, low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, weakness, and coma. Get emergency medical help immediately.

What Wiki pedia says

Just shortly ago my doctor diagnosed me with mood disorder. Shortly before that it was OCD both faces of one disease. This depression has more than one face. In fact many faces. When people tell you to snap out of it and you can, that probably is 'the blues'. Not to be laughed at in itself the 'blues' are a minor form of what I have, and many others have. This form of depression can not be snapped out of.

It is major depression associated with anxiety. But there are ways to use to help one survive.
But back to what the title of this blog.

Specific treatments for depressive disorder

Many forms of treatment are available. Treatments may include cognitive-behavioral therapy, music therapy, art therapy, group therapy, psychotherapy, animal-assisted therapy (also known as pet therapy), physical exercise, medicines such as antidepressants, and keeping a gratitude journal. A more holistic approach is required to address the problem of depression and mood disorder.

I have not tried cognitive-behaioral therapy, but all others. The blog is a gratitude journal, a record of medical things going on with me dealing with the depression. The VNS has not helped me as I thought it would. But I think brain stimulation in some what will help. The VNS does work somewhat, but not to the freeing from the depression.

Soothing yourself in depression

I got an email from a friend for me to look at this:

Press the “stop” button on negative mental tapes. Do you catch yourself ruminating on the worst that could happen (“The insurance company won’t pay, my friends won’t help and I’ll wind up living on the street”)? Replace that “awfulizing” refrain in your head with a more realistic scenario (“My premiums are paid and I can stay with my cousin while my home is being repaired”). Also, remind yourself of a past challenge that you faced successfully as you inwardly repeat the mantra, “I survived that, so I can survive this, too.” As a physical reminder, write your mantra on an index card and stick it in your pocket—then take it out and read it whenever negative thoughts threaten to overwhelm you.
Trim your to-do list. The idea is to make the rest of your life as stress-free as possible while you concentrate on the big challenge at hand. Cancel or postpone obligations that add to your burden…request that family and friends make fewer demands on your time, at least temporarily…take a mental-health day off from work if you can. There will be certain things you can’t let go of, of course—but you can always find some wiggle room in your schedule.
Be as kind to yourself as you would to a loved one. “It’s common to focus on our own flaws while ignoring our strong points, then berate ourselves inwardly for our weaknesses,” Dr. Block noted. To halt that stress-expanding habit, speak to yourself in the third person, showering yourself with the same care and compassion that you would show to a troubled friend. Example: Rather than chiding yourself to “stop being a big baby,” tell yourself, “Life is hard just now, so it’s OK to feel unsettled. Remember that you have many fine qualities—strength, persistence, intelligence—that will help you through.” Then close your eyes and visualize yourself moving through your struggle successfully, utilizing your wealth of inner resources.
Source: Joel Block, PhD, is a senior psychologist at Long Island Jewish Medical Center in New Hyde Park, New York and an assistant clinical professor of psychology/psychiatry at the Hofstra North Shore-LIJ School of Medicine in Hempstead, New York. He also is the author of more than 20 books, including Saving My Life: A Least Likely to Succeed Success Story. www.DrBlock.com

Mood Disorder

Since last writing I have been given the go ahead to try lamictal. It is a drug that I am severely thankful for. It melts on your tongue and so it is in your system far sooner than any other drug that I have been on. I am also on abilify and wellbutrin.
My psychiatrist says it is a mood disorder, but did not mention bipolar. Maybe it is not as severe as the latter. But it is helping me to get things off my chest and calm things down emotionally and give me some peace. I am now not so anxious about my putting my foot down about certain things and not to much ruminating on it afterward. The things have bothered me emotionally for some time. As I am feeling less anxious about things in general, I feel that it has helped me greatly to have this drug. 

Thought Bubbles: Aristotle

                           We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. — Aristotle

Has anyone ever applied this to depression? If we practice the depression, each and every day, then we become excellent at what we do. Depression is as much a physical thing as a mental thing. If I fill my mind with it in the morning, gripping about this or that,  then the rest of the day I head down that path. The day is no different than the day before no matter what happens. It is you and your reactions to your situation that rule you. Keep your thoughts as near to doing your chores, work, spiritual things, and realize that you are the one that controls what goes on in your mind. Kick the depression to the curb as best you can. Kick it a little more each day. There will be a day that comes where when the depression occurs that you will automatically kick it to the curb. Then you will see that you will become excellent at defeating the monster within.

Risperdal

I am having dreams in which I am very active, talking or moving. The dreams are about escape, running in fear away from something that fills me with terror.  But I do stand and fight.  I have awoke with the words 'CHECK YOUR WEAPONS' coming from my lips. 

I have for years clenched and ground my teeth, and I wear a teeth guard. I have begun picking at sores on my thighs and buttocks. I pick my ears most of each day. These are nervous anxious habits.

I wake up early in the morning  and  when I get past that drowsy stage I write. On my current book, or on what is happening to me. Then as I get tired I slowly sink back asleep.

I have my highest anxiety when I am at work and when I am driving to and from anywhere.

There is a burning in my chest at first.  I counter with a deep breathing exercise. After a while of this anxiety the depression comes on. Some times I can control it through the deep breathing, but that is getting harder to do.  Typical scenes that appear in my imagination are things akin to dogs biting me, relatives or myself having a road accident. 

Last night I went to bed depressed, and am now struggling with not going deeper into the depression. At least at this time I am not overly critical about it, that this whole situation is my fault. I did that for years. When I get into that mode I suffer the most. 

ACCEPTANCE IS HARD

Since going on Abilify insomnia is a constant companion. I messed up and took a tranquilizer at the wrong time of day at the wrong dosage. In an effort to get some 'useful' time out of the day, I took a risperdal in the late after noon. WRONG! Thing to do. 36 hours later my body is still messed up. 
The risperdal caused insomnia, causing over tiredness causing a weakness that started an anxiety attack. 
When the attack happens, it is not a panic attack. It starts with a feeling in the chest that feels like heartburn. If I start in with slow deep breaking the anxiety can be delayed. If I start with this(anxiety) in the morning by early afternoon I will have depression. The chemicals in anxiety will push the brain into depression.
I think that I am developing agoraphobia. I am safe inside the house,that is if the house doesn't fall in on me. But safer here than all the other places and scenarios in my life. I still dwell and ruminate on horrific (at least to me) things. 
The Chiropractor says that my atlas bone is severely out of place. It is twisted and possibly tilted. We do not know if this is from the 5/5/11 accident or if I had it before. No x rays at that angle to determine that were taken before the accident. The X-rays before the accident were taken at a certain angle, not the angles of these latests shots. That is the difference. I can not prove that the accident has worsened the depression through external tests, but it did and has.. But I signed a waiver and can't get any more money. Acceptance of the way that this disease effects me is the worse part of this disease right now. 

True Inner Happiness is Rare

In the search for what will make me happy, I have done many things. (Don't we all). But I don't mean just material things, even spiritual things, I mean I want to laugh. Over silly things. It seems that that doesn't happen very often. A really deep sense of happiness and silliness. I did have a small amount last night. Listening to silly ringtones. I was laughing like crazy!  Serotonin was surging and for about an hour I was silly/happy. I think with all the stress in today's world and the seriousness of the state of things more silly things are called for. Not demeaning, just let loose silly things.

I have to learn to let go, and back off of ruminating thoughts. This is after 9 months on medications. and eight different ones at that. Any thought can become ruminating. Most are negative, and full of anxiety. But if I can just dwell on the words "Drop it and back off!" The feeling of control of the thoughts empowers me. Even just a little bit. So if I can replace the thoughts with silly things on intention, it does help.

Writing is a therapy for depression

I have found that the journaling of my experience with the VNS and depression is in itself therapy. This latest mix of drugs and doing my creative things has given me more serotonin  and other calming brain chemicals. I have been writing some novelettes about an archeologist an her beaux who is in the same business as she. Just to put words to the keyboard and letting things flow keeps my mind off of the anxiety and depression. Replaces the negative with adventure, with other's thoughts, with others problems and then I solve them. Something, the solving part, I have not been able to do very successfully in my own fight with anxiety and depression. It seems that I am developing a type of agoraphobia. just another face of the sickness.

In the mix!

It seems that the mixture of all the drugs seems to be slowly working. I am more productive in the artwork, writing and blogging. I have a good level of energy through out the day for projects in the evening and in the mornings as well. A reminder of what the mixture is here
http://draft.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3729535059627039435#editor/target=post;postID=137343103729171494
I realize that I go up and down in this battle. I am not bipolar, just that I go in and out of depression. Certainly as well in anxiety, It is just that when I am up I have several projects I would like to do.
Projects in art , writing and sculpture (see last post!)

The Abilify is working.

The last time I took Abilify I suffered greatly from the sleeplessness. But now it seems that I am doing fine. Creativity has really blossomed and I am sculpting. I am organizing an-epub. for IBooks for the Children's Historical Fiction Nick Anderson:Timeflyer  the American Revoloution. Then I will go to Amazon to do a Kindle version in color.

nickanderson@gmail.com

And I have started to write again I and am almost ready to publish it and do so to IBooks. Three novelettes. The third one is being written right now.
They are about an archeologist that suffers from anxiety and depression.

I have to do these things while I am "up" 

which usually lasts just a few months.

Some are projects that have taken months to get to 

this stage. And when I am capable  of doing it, up enough I go hell

bent for leather.

Kinda a Catch 22. Work hard, stress, then depression. This time I have a new

doctor and perhaps with her knowledge I will remain up longer this time.

I have the VNS implant as well as 5 different medication for the depression.

One other thing!

Hitch Hiking Ghosts!

I am bloging about the artwork that I do at a local Orlando theme park. Some of the work is for sale at this famous World class park. And all my work will be for sale on

www.thesilhouetteshop.blogspot.com

jkmatthews@cfl.rr.com

Alpha lipoic acid: treatment for depression

Abstract

Insulin resistance has been associated with people diagnosed with depression. Conversely, it has also been documented that diabetics have an increased risk of depression. Evidence suggests that insulin activity plays a role in serotonergic activity by increasing the influx of tryptophan into the brain. This increased influx of tryptophan has been shown to result in an increase in serotonin synthesis. In accordance with the serotonin theory of depression, it may be possible to treat depression by increasing insulin activity. The antioxidant alpha lipoic acid has been shown to increase insulin sensitivity and is used to treat people with diabetes. Therefore, the nutrient alpha lipoic acid should be clinically tested as an adjunct treatment for depression.

Source: Click Here

Alpha-Lipoic Acid is a fat soluble antioxidant and protects nerves from free radical damage. Generally, 100 - 300 mg per day is enough to be of benefit.

Source: Click Here

Reactive Hypoglycemia

Reactive hypoglycemia (or alimentary hypoglycemia) is low blood sugar that occurs after a meal — usually one to three hours after eating. Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) usually occurs while fasting. Signs and symptoms of reactive hypoglycemia may include hunger, weakness, shakiness, sleepiness, lightheadedness, anxiety and confusion.

Reactive hypoglycemia is often difficult to diagnose, because it's possible to have symptoms that are similar to reactive hypoglycemia without actually having the condition. Generally, a medical evaluation is done to determine whether symptoms are caused by low blood sugar — and whether symptoms resolve once blood sugar returns to normal. Further evaluation of reactive hypoglycemia depends on the severity of signs and symptoms.

For the majority of people, reactive hypoglycemia usually doesn't require medical treatment. It may help to pay attention to the timing and composition of your meals:

• Eat several small meals and snacks throughout the day, no more than three hours apart.
• Eat a well-balanced diet including lean and nonmeat sources of protein and high-fiber foods including whole grains, fruit and vegetables.
• Avoid or limit sugary foods, especially on an empty stomach.
• Be sure to eat food if you're consuming alcohol and avoid using sugary soft drinks as mixers.

For some, particularly those who have had intestinal surgery (gastric bypass or surgery for the management of ulcer disease) further evaluation by a doctor may be warranted, but dietary changes are still recommended.

It's also important to include physical activity in your daily routine.

The above is from here

Diet and supplements for hypoglycemia

Hypoglycemia: reversible? Click here

Allergic reaction: Adrenals

From what I understand when you eat what you are allergic to adrenaline is pumped into your system. Same thing with stress be it emotional or physical, adrenals are called into action. Now from what I have been reading,  too much adrenaline can cause anxiety. The anxiety can cause OCD which will lead to depression. Anxiety and depression are linked chemically in the brain. When too much anxiety occurs the brain kicks it over to depression.
Now let us go on from there. If one has hypoglycemia which is low blood sugar the adrenals are constantly turned on to give one energy one usually gets from normal blood sugar. So one has to monitor what one eats and eat high protein and low glycemic fruits and vegetables. About every two hours. No caffeine either. Screen out the foods one is allergic to.

Screen out the foods one is allergic to.

OCD : Subclass of Anxiety

OCD is a sub-class of anxiety attacks. Both OCD and anxiety attacks are marked by excess adrenaline production mainly caused by unstable blood sugar levels that can easily be tested by medical tests, such as the test for hypoglycemia as explained here.

The real question is why is the body overproducing adrenaline and at the wrong time and circumstances? The answer lies in the the function of adrenaline. Adrenaline apart from being a fight/flight hormone is also a hormone that converts sugar stores in the body (glycogen) into glucose. (See image) Glucose is the brain’s major source of energy. It requires about 70% of glucose to fuel the biochemical machinery of brain cells. Without that energy brain cells will soon die. Thus whenever the brain senses energy starvation it will trigger the release of adrenaline so as to feed the brain again with energy. For the effects of insulin resistance on the body see here.

My Psychiatrist said that I will have a bout with OCD then go into depression. If I drink  a protein drink  with complex carbs, than I feel much better. In my case I will drink about six tablespoons of protein drink every two hours, keeping my sugar a bit higher and I will kill the depression. I had low blood sugar. Not in all the years that I have had this problem and all the psychiatrists that I had, not one suggested to eat protein  and complex carbs for depression. But if one or ones family has hypoglycemia  then one should put oneself on this regime  to see if it works. Did it yesterday, and I felt great all day. Remember the protein drink can not be high in sugar. That would defeat the purpose.