I am living with depression. I was implanted with VNS therapy on March 11,2008 and am blogging what experiences I have, not only with the device but with depression itself, and just what depression is. This is to let people know depression is not just the "blues". True depression is a disease, not a mood problem. One can manage the depression with various treatments and I invite you to learn with me as I go through it.
Showing posts with label itchy skin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label itchy skin. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Hell Weeks
It has been hell weeks since
about the . Not only did I have to go through an attack of
the horrors for weeks not knowing what it was--wakin
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Thought Bubbles: Your Birth was not a Mistake!
I have just finished reading Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life. I have read it before but this time it speaks to me so much more. When I wake up depressed-from breathing mold, or a reaction to foods eaten, or to chemicals used the day before, I have to keep in mind what I read on page 22.
YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT
YOUR BIRTH WAS NOT MISTAKE OR MISHAP, AND YOUR LIFE IS NO FLUKE OF NATURE........
YOUR PARENTS MAY NOT HAVE PLANNED YOU,
BUT GOD DID.
Yes, God did. He is developing me like an old time photo. Pieces of me making sense, developing, a little at a time. In the "dark room" of life a truly amazing piece of artwork is developin' :me! I am here for Him to develop. All that I ask of Him is to tell me the food, mold, chemical that has cause the current problem, and I will trust Him that It is probable that that is the culprit.
For years I could not believe that I could be affected by so many things. But if I leave the substance alone and then retry it later and the same thing happens, well, what am I to think? It does develop trust in God, in one's self and in the science of I have tried this and this is the result. It develops character to endure through the depression, ear popping, loss of balance, weird thoughts, itchy skin and blurry eyes. It shows me that even if I have all of these and more, it could be worse.

YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT
YOUR BIRTH WAS NOT MISTAKE OR MISHAP, AND YOUR LIFE IS NO FLUKE OF NATURE........
YOUR PARENTS MAY NOT HAVE PLANNED YOU,
BUT GOD DID.
Yes, God did. He is developing me like an old time photo. Pieces of me making sense, developing, a little at a time. In the "dark room" of life a truly amazing piece of artwork is developin' :me! I am here for Him to develop. All that I ask of Him is to tell me the food, mold, chemical that has cause the current problem, and I will trust Him that It is probable that that is the culprit.
For years I could not believe that I could be affected by so many things. But if I leave the substance alone and then retry it later and the same thing happens, well, what am I to think? It does develop trust in God, in one's self and in the science of I have tried this and this is the result. It develops character to endure through the depression, ear popping, loss of balance, weird thoughts, itchy skin and blurry eyes. It shows me that even if I have all of these and more, it could be worse.
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Family Night
Support in my efforts to battle this problem is the main thing that I need. I get it from all who I encounter, except one major person. This is an email from my sister and my reply:
On Aug 15, 2011, at 4:48 PM, Edna wrote:
thanks, I need support. I get it from everyone except John. He seems to think it is all in my head. I have to think about what the bible said: and I don't know just what verse, but we get our esteem from the Lord, not others, even our brother. It is hard on Wednesdays. The day after Family Night. I am poisoned by the food and the doubts (caused by his unfaltering statements of this doesn't bother me, so it can't be bothering you) he causes. I am sorry, but swollen joints, lost balance, blisters in the mouth, break outs of herpes around the mouth, swollen gums, gas, bloating, itchy skin, constipation, depression, anxiety, popping in the ears, fatigue does bother me and I need support from someone I have adored all of my life. I am glad that I got that out of my system. And God be praised for your support.Glad you got to talk to Jennifer. Did you find out just what she suffers with? Both mentally, and physically?
Dear Janet,I did try to get to your blog but I could not get in to read any thing. I am sorry. I did try to surf and do some research.When I was on line trying to do some research this afternoon, Jennifer called. (Her daughter who suffers from allergies) We actually had some decent conversation for about an hour. I do not know how much communication got through but at least it is a start for us. That was good.Continue to keep your food journal. Keep the amounts of food and the times that you eat also. I know that this sounds picky but you are looking for repeated patterns and foods that are bothering you and giving you bad reactions. Look for daily, weekly, and monthly patterns. Also, record your sleep patterns. Note your moods and feelings. Don’t obsess about all this. If you miss something or time, get back on track the next time cycle. Again, don’t get down on your self for looking for the why. Perhaps, you will be able to talk to the doctor more intelligently. Be sure to include a joke on yourself and then laugh at yourself and press on with life. We are praying for you.Love,Edna
Labels:
anxiety,
blisters herpes,
bloating,
constipation,
depression,
Family Night,
fatigue.,
feelings,
food journal,
gas,
gums,
itchy skin,
John,
joints,
lost balance,
moods,
patterns,
sleep patterns,
swollen,
time cycle
Friday, August 12, 2011
Allergies:One of the Answers?
Being sick with depression is a multi-sided problem. But I believe that my research has added up to the conclusion that I am suffering from many severe allergic reactions. And in response to these attacks my body reacts with depression and the other problems noted elsewhere in this blog.
Another system failure last night. I am allergic to brown rice flour . I am trying to find another thing to make crackers out of since Dr. Mueller told me to watch my arginine intake. Flax seed and sunflower seeds which make up this cracker which it homemade have a lot of arginine in them. So I am trying to find another thing to use. Garbanzo bean flour seems to work.
Arrowhead Mills organic brown rice is allergic causing. Swelling of upper gums, swelling of joints in hands, brown spit that was thick-gums must have reacted in some way. Slight depression, but not terrible this am, I ate the homemade cracker last night before bed. Later, the next day I ate rice cakes. A lot of depression happened. In reading the book Brain Allergies: Is this your Child? by Doris Rapp. I have gathered much information about how brain allergies can cause just the symptoms that have been plaguing me for all my life. Well, as long as I remember. Even down to the strange thought patterns of bloody knives, which I never wrote about, because it was to scary. But the thought was coming at the worst of the depression attacks. It was not to kill someone, but just scary bloody knives in the kitchen-and this could have been caused by the allergies that I have been suffering. Rapp discusses testing that involved drawings by kids. When under the effect of the allergies the kids would draw knives, tomb stones and other depression based horror subjects. Then when given an extract the images would disappear almost by magic. I have heard that these extracts are not known to work well at all times and are expensive. More to investigate. However my chiropractor says to eliminate the heavy metals and then see how the hormone and immunity pan out. I say I am going to do this and I have started to detox with DMSA just yesterday. May take months. I have had two urine tests for heavy metals one in November 2009 and one in July 2011 and the lead and all the other metals did not budge much, some have increased. But of course it might be a little off because the margin of error. But the metals are still there. I tried to detox with OSR(now off the market per the FDA) and a detox supplement created by Designs for Health which can be found on their website. Months involved and no urine test was retried in 2010. Even when I had paid for the second one and asked for it to be redone in 2010. If the doctor had just followed through and re-tested we could have pulled more of the metals out through something else. (Maybe DMSA),
Another system failure last night. I am allergic to brown rice flour . I am trying to find another thing to make crackers out of since Dr. Mueller told me to watch my arginine intake. Flax seed and sunflower seeds which make up this cracker which it homemade have a lot of arginine in them. So I am trying to find another thing to use. Garbanzo bean flour seems to work.
Arrowhead Mills organic brown rice is allergic causing. Swelling of upper gums, swelling of joints in hands, brown spit that was thick-gums must have reacted in some way. Slight depression, but not terrible this am, I ate the homemade cracker last night before bed. Later, the next day I ate rice cakes. A lot of depression happened. In reading the book Brain Allergies: Is this your Child? by Doris Rapp. I have gathered much information about how brain allergies can cause just the symptoms that have been plaguing me for all my life. Well, as long as I remember. Even down to the strange thought patterns of bloody knives, which I never wrote about, because it was to scary. But the thought was coming at the worst of the depression attacks. It was not to kill someone, but just scary bloody knives in the kitchen-and this could have been caused by the allergies that I have been suffering. Rapp discusses testing that involved drawings by kids. When under the effect of the allergies the kids would draw knives, tomb stones and other depression based horror subjects. Then when given an extract the images would disappear almost by magic. I have heard that these extracts are not known to work well at all times and are expensive. More to investigate. However my chiropractor says to eliminate the heavy metals and then see how the hormone and immunity pan out. I say I am going to do this and I have started to detox with DMSA just yesterday. May take months. I have had two urine tests for heavy metals one in November 2009 and one in July 2011 and the lead and all the other metals did not budge much, some have increased. But of course it might be a little off because the margin of error. But the metals are still there. I tried to detox with OSR(now off the market per the FDA) and a detox supplement created by Designs for Health which can be found on their website. Months involved and no urine test was retried in 2010. Even when I had paid for the second one and asked for it to be redone in 2010. If the doctor had just followed through and re-tested we could have pulled more of the metals out through something else. (Maybe DMSA),
Labels:
allergic reactions,
blurry eyes,
brown spit,
designs for health,
DMSA,
Doris Rapp,
extract,
garbanzo bean flour.arginine,
gums,
imbalance,
indigestion,
itchy skin,
joints in hands,
OSR,
rice flour,
uncoordination
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