Showing posts with label negative thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Stress, Self Esteem, Trust

In order to stabilize myself and run my life I have to realize that things are as stressful as I permit them to be. I can dwell on them, repeating them in my mind and I get more and more depressed. Toxic thoughts cause stress and are hard to control unless one deliberately replaces the negative thoughts with the positive. A favorite bible passage usually works. The Lord will perfect all that concerns me (Psalm 138:8). Fill your mind with it. Every negative thought must be fought. Refuse to dwell on the situation and the situation diminishes.
Another way to handle stress is to have a quiet time with God. In times past work and it's rewards were more important than God. Family time was left unattended to. Yes,  run run run, and all for the promise of what, a paycheck ? Yes we all do it. We are to have balance as well.  I did it for all the regular reasons, house,car, food (lol). Dread of being  unemployed, etc.
God says develop a relationship with Him and He will provide--for everything.  That is what the quite time with Him is for.
Being creative is another way to stop stress. One must take that time to create. Cook, paint,  write, sculpt.  Any creative thing. It is as important as eating correctly.
Exercise, each day. It eliminates toxins, oxygenates the brain. I couldn't get any benefit from it for the longest time because I had no energy from eating the wrong foods all the time.  Allergic reaction to foods and the increased inflammation  from that caused and still causes fatigue.
God has given me the message that I am to take care of my physical health first and right next to that, not below it, my closeness to Him. If I do this and not worry about anything else He will provide and I will proser.
Self esteem is related to stress in that the amount of things that I get done, the higher my self esteem sores. But the more I get done the more tasks I  take on.   Pushing myself to do more causes more stress.    Catch 22. That is what I am working on constantly. Why do I have to obtain self love from working myself to death. Knowing that I am alright with out the always run run attitude is the answer. God says that I am more than all of this. He loves me and has a plan just for me, and He will put the plan in place at the time of His choosing.
Trust is another component in the mixture. Trust God to do what He says He will do.  He will protect you, loves you, wants only good for you. After prayer, discussion with friends, you must trust yourself, your vision, and when God answers you, trust that answer.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The co-pay Sucks

On October the tenth the insurance company came through with the coverage for the implant of the VNS device. But there is a big block to getting the procedure because of the copay of 1000.00 and the need to pay 30% of allowable costs. My work place insurance has over the years been cut bit by bit and now I am thinking of getting some kind of supplemental insurance.
Cheryl called me on Friday last and said she could talk to me about the copay. I've not have had the time to call her back; I've been working long hours and all day shifts. I will get back to her very soon.
I believe the cost of the procedure is 30,000,and I don't have that kind of funding.
A co-worker reported that maybe I can work out a deal with a surgeon that would just take the amount that the insurance pays and not want anymore. This type of deal is called assignment. I will take that up with Cheryl and the doctor.As yet I have not been assigned to a surgeon.
Doctor Figeuroa said that he wanted me to wait for three months to see what the Cymbalta will do. I am at 90 mil of Cymbalta, 200mil of Provigal, 60mil of paxil, and 50 mil of melaris. I am hoping if I have this procedure done that the amount of medications will go down, that I will be more stable emotionally, that the medications that I do take would work better and that I can better manage the disease.
I have noticed that when I am up and not on the borderline with depression that I am
more confident, less sheepist, quicker in response, more witty in combating sarcasm, and less clingy to negative thoughts. That is in essence the quality of life is there. I can handle life better in many ways. This may indeed sound selfish, but I don't have the time to sit and stew and try new self help plans that sound good, but in the end go nowhere.
In the vein of self help, I have tried everything under the sun. Nutritional pathways have worked for a few weeks, and then they are impotent and I am at square one again.
This up and down, uneven life that I have had to live only makes problems seem larger than life itself.



Friday, July 13, 2007

Cognitive Therapy

I am perusing my library and have come up with David Burn's Feeling Good, and I am hopeful that reading through it again will help me pinpoint the negative thoughts that I seem to have, almost all the time.This surprised me because I thought that I had been through this some time ago. Surprise, I found all sorts of negatives floating around in the gourd on my shoulders. This is the basis of cognitive therapy. Thought watching. I an do this. I will work on this.

(This is the basis of the work by Sally-Anne McCormick Stop the ANTs.  ANTs are automatic negative thoughts -editor)