OCD and Depression:My Life

I have been relatively quiet on the blog these last few weeks. Mainly assessing the diagnoses of my latest psychiatrist. And getting used to the drugs once again.

• Wellbutrin 300 mg
• anafranil 125 mg
•  risperdal .5 Two times a day
 

I am slowly pulling up and out of the depressive circular thought patterns. Slowly.

What happens is that I find a thought and fixate on it, make it a scary thought in anyway that I can, and then run that thought over and over again, rampping up the anxiety. Then I see no way out of the situation and go into depression.This, as I look at my life,  has always been. I am now reading David Burn's Mood Therapy. It is about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is what  my psychiatrist suggested that I needed to learn about and to use this therapy to pull out of the OCD.

And the Psychiatrist was Right!

I was on Anafranil in the 90's and then went off of it. I don't remember why, and I did not keep a log at that time. This wish for a non-depressed, non anxious state. is powerful and I am striving to understand it. NO, I do understand that one always wants happiness and will always strive for it. I mean I want to understand what causes the depression and if I can stop it naturally.
The next step is cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) suggested by Dr. Saavedra. The therapist suggested by her is Linda Grant, a therapist in her business group. I will contact her shortly.
I had one session with her and realized that because of the expense I would not be able to continue. My co pay is 60. She wanted several in one week for starts and then less a bit later.