In going through this depression and researching the different aspects of what is happening to me, I have begun to look at the depression very differently that when I started on the pills almost twenty years ago. I have learned to look at the situations that surround me with a quiet detachment. It is a way to bare the pain, stop the ostracizing that I sometimes feel when relating my depressive moments to others, who at first seem interested out of compassion, but who are really just fascinated about a story of "mental illness", glad it is happening to someone else and not them.
I met a woman in the mental hospital the second time I went in. She had far more physically wrong with her than I, and much more going on in her personal life. So I followed up the hospital with a few phone calls to her personal number. As we talked, I tried to reach her mentally, give what support that I could. At least I know what depression is, and can talk to a person about it. But I think she was reminded of the hospital and the low mental situation she suffered there (and still continues to suffer at home). But one sees so much hurting all about one's self if one chooses to only dwell on that aspect of life.
I have begun to detach from what I can't do anything about, and attach to goals that I can accomplish. More positive, more in control. Hard if you have not tried it before. Sure, we all have tried to do it before, and maybe it is the anafranil that I am on that makes it easier to be successful in these attempts at this time. Who knows?
Detachment as a survival mechanism, what a delightful answer to problems that could bring on the depression. Too much detachment is a flight from reality and bordering on apathy, just enough should save me.
I met a woman in the mental hospital the second time I went in. She had far more physically wrong with her than I, and much more going on in her personal life. So I followed up the hospital with a few phone calls to her personal number. As we talked, I tried to reach her mentally, give what support that I could. At least I know what depression is, and can talk to a person about it. But I think she was reminded of the hospital and the low mental situation she suffered there (and still continues to suffer at home). But one sees so much hurting all about one's self if one chooses to only dwell on that aspect of life.
I have begun to detach from what I can't do anything about, and attach to goals that I can accomplish. More positive, more in control. Hard if you have not tried it before. Sure, we all have tried to do it before, and maybe it is the anafranil that I am on that makes it easier to be successful in these attempts at this time. Who knows?
Detachment as a survival mechanism, what a delightful answer to problems that could bring on the depression. Too much detachment is a flight from reality and bordering on apathy, just enough should save me.
