Thought Bubbles: Your Birth was not a Mistake!

I have just finished reading Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life. I have read it before but this time it speaks to me so much more. When I wake up depressed-from breathing mold, or a reaction to foods eaten, or to chemicals used the day before, I have to keep in mind what I read on page 22.




                                    YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT
YOUR BIRTH WAS NOT MISTAKE OR MISHAP, AND YOUR LIFE IS NO FLUKE OF NATURE........
YOUR PARENTS MAY NOT HAVE PLANNED YOU,
                              BUT GOD DID.




Yes, God did. He is developing me like an old time photo. Pieces of me making sense, developing, a little at a time. In the "dark room" of life a truly amazing piece of artwork is developin' :me! I am here for Him to develop. All that I ask of Him is to tell me the food, mold, chemical that has cause the current problem, and I will trust Him that It is probable that that is the culprit. 
For years I could not believe that I could be affected by so many things. But  if I leave the substance alone and then retry it later and the same thing happens, well, what am I to think? It does develop trust in God, in one's self and in the science of I have tried this and this is the result. It develops character to endure through the depression, ear popping, loss of balance, weird thoughts, itchy skin and blurry eyes. It shows me that even if I have all of these and more, it could be worse. 

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Allergies:One of the Answers?

Being sick with depression is a multi-sided problem. But I believe that my research has added up to the conclusion that I am suffering from many severe allergic reactions. And in response to these attacks my body reacts with depression and the other problems noted elsewhere in this blog.
Another system failure last night. I am allergic to brown rice flour . I am trying to find another thing to make crackers out of since Dr. Mueller told me to watch my arginine intake. Flax seed and sunflower seeds which make up this cracker which it homemade have a lot of arginine in them. So I am trying to find another thing to use. Garbanzo bean flour seems to work.
Arrowhead Mills organic brown rice is allergic causing. Swelling of upper gums, swelling of joints in hands, brown spit that was thick-gums must have reacted in some way. Slight depression, but not terrible this am, I ate the homemade cracker last night before bed. Later, the next day I ate rice cakes. A lot of depression happened. In reading the book Brain Allergies: Is this your Child? by Doris Rapp. I have gathered much information about how brain allergies can cause just the symptoms that have been plaguing me for all my life. Well, as long as I remember. Even down to the strange thought patterns of bloody knives, which I never wrote about, because it was to scary. But the thought was coming at the worst of the depression attacks. It was not to kill someone, but just scary bloody knives in the kitchen-and this could have been caused by the allergies that I have been suffering. Rapp discusses testing that involved drawings by kids. When under the effect of the allergies the kids would draw knives, tomb stones and other depression based horror subjects. Then when given an extract the images would disappear almost by magic. I have heard that these extracts are not known to work well at all times and are expensive. More to investigate. However my chiropractor says to eliminate the heavy metals and then see how the hormone and immunity pan out. I say I am going to do this and I have started to detox with DMSA just yesterday. May take months. I have had two urine tests for heavy metals one in November 2009 and one in July 2011 and the lead and all the other metals did not budge much, some have increased. But of course it might be a little off because the margin of error. But the metals are still there. I tried to detox with OSR(now off the market per the FDA) and a detox supplement created by Designs for Health which can be found on their website. Months involved and no urine test was retried in 2010. Even when I had paid for the second one and asked for it to be redone in 2010. If the doctor had just followed through and re-tested we could have pulled more of the metals out through something else. (Maybe DMSA),

Nuts to Nuts and Seeds

I think that I am allergic to nuts, but I am gathering them all in under one heading. Peanuts, definately, but to a lesser degree others as well. I get itchy eyes, sluggishness. Sunflower seeds maybe on the lesser degree as well.
All these foods to be allergic to, ah, what a life. But a better one than under constant pharm. drugs and constant depression, and the VNS implant. The implant is still doing the job. It has about three years to go until the battery will need to be replaced. I started saving for it this month. Automatic draft to savings.

Letter to Edna

Thanks, I hope you mailed it to John's address. She will get it sooner than if to her own address.
I am still finding things that I am allergic to. I have a appointment with a nutritionist in a couple of weeks . No insurance for that. So pray it is money well spent. Cassie went to the same person and it helped her anxiety.
Work is finally picking up somewhat. Scary for a while. I am cooking for myself whole unprocessed foods and have completely changed my diet.
List of foods that I am allergic to or am sensitive to
Milk, eggs, soy, gluten, yeast, artficial sweetners, sugar, sugar alchols tomatos, cilantro.
I have a lot of inflammation in my body form all the allergies. I have read that mercury and heavy metal posioning can cause many allergies. This nutritionist can do a heavy metals toxicity panel on me. Or at least give me more info on the problem and how to deal with it.