Got home last night to find the doctor's number on the voice mail. Dr. Corbyon. And a call from Cheryl. I have everything set up, but there might be a hitch some where. So today I will call.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
No comments:
Post a Comment