Reaction from New level

My incision area started to hurt yesterday, as did the area that the lead attaches to the Vagus Nerve. The sensation lasted about half an hour and then a head ache on that side of the head. The next stimulation period the same pain, but much less, with no headache. But I am up again. More motivated to paint, sculpt, and to move about, as in yard work.
The hospital has not billed me yet and it has been since Feb. 26th. I did contact them and apparently they are resubmitting it to the insurance company and that takes about a month to six weeks to do.
Meanwhile I notice that I can think around problems better. I can see them as less threatening. I can move off the ruminating thoughts and on to other, more creative ones. I believe that it has helped in my OCD. I am not locked into certain behaviors as much.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

A new adjusted level (3)

I spoke to Tish (my sister-in-law, a pharmacist ) about the implant. And because she works with diabetics she was very interested to know about the device. I feel as if I am in limbo about my weight. I seem to be more active, but I am not motivated to exercise more. I thought I would be. I still crave carbs somewhat. I am going through a peanut butter phase.
On the 14th, just two days ago, I got the implant adjusted up again. I believe it was for .75 at 180 minutes. Dr. Rivera felt I should not take an increase in the stimulation, but continue to let the drugs decrease. He gave me the increase in the stimulation, and let the drugs continue at the same level.
My reaction was a little different. A slight bit of anxiety came, then went. Then the depression free state returned. I had more energy. I even had motivation to get things prepared to begin an oil painting. That is amazing after working out in the sun all day. (I had always been so incredibly tired that I could not even be the least bit creative or motivated to create after such a long day.-editor)

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Certain Strangeness

For the past two days I've been tremendously tired and feeling disconnected from reality.A kind of pushed to the limit, let me rest type of feeling. Am I going into depression, or is the implant going to save me? It is just that the disconnect feeling is staying around too long. I am falling back into the redundant pit with problems at work. Over and over in the brain. So much stuff. Yuck! Struggle to break free. If brain was not in this state, troubles at work would be blown off. I can see it now. Very clearly.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Return to New Normal

The day after the nightmare incident I was anxiety prone. But by the end of the day I was better, and on the 29th and now the 30th I am fine. More than fine. I went out on the 29th with Edna to the Orlando Museum of Art and I was fine, and came home tired, but not depressed. I worked on sculpture, and as aways it was a therapeutic experience. I want to get into caricature images. I feel much more motivated to do art now than before the implant. Some other things I notice are related to self improvement. The weight issue still remains. I believe that I am burning more calories since the implant, because I am eating about the same carbs and am not gaining as easily. But other things are happening. I can let go of anger now. I am less judgemental of people. I enjoy more fully the little things that happen, like birds interacting with each other, like shadows and how they take shape. Tiny things, but things all around me now interest me. This is only part of what the implant has done for me. (Enjoyment of everyday things is happening here, first time in my life I felt true joy,-editor)

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Decent Into Withdrawal

Night before last I had nightmares galore. Calling out David's name, falling out of bed and skinned knee. This only happens when there is not enough medications. Anxiety in the morning, waning in mid afternoon. I ate carbs until the anxiety felt better (wow wee zowwee on the weight). But no nightmares last night. This AM better, much so. It takes about two to three weeks for a drug to wash out of your system, so I am now feeling the effects of the first drug draw down. I am feeling a little of fibermyalgia, late yesterday, a little less today.This is the first nightmare sequence that I have had in a long time. It happened on the night of the 26th morning of the 27th.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Back Up to Snuf

Last week I was constantly tired through my days off and only started feeling alive two days after I returned to work. But at least I can say that I regained my feelings of wellness and did not go into depression. I worked 46 hours and was very busy during that time. I did have a slight feeling of anxiety, but did not go into depression. I am three weeks into reduction of thoridiazine by half down to 25 ml a day and down on paxil by one quarter from 60 to 45 ml. I feel great. Migraines are less. I am using a massage pillow on my neck, but only since two days ago. So most of the time I have been depending on the implant to help and I believe it has. I am back up to 40+ hours at work.
I called the hospital to ask where the bill was, since it has been almost two months since the procedure. They said that they have resubmitted it to Aetna and that I should get it shortly, within the next two or three weeks.
Meanwhile I have told many people about it. It seems amazing and God sent. I actually feel good.
I am trying to lessen the amount of food I intake, and I think that is coming into focus as well. I gained at first, because everything tasted so much better. Carbs just don't mean that much to me any more. I thought I would never say that. Exercise is down a bit, mostly because of more time spent at work.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Constantly Tired

The last few days I have been constantly tired, which is not as usual since the implant. So, maybe I am pushing it to much. I have taken on more hours at work and maybe to soon. We need the money after buying the car, paying off the truck and the VNS surgery deductible. It's just me, I like to have a cushion. Sleepiness again. More coffee is needed, regardless of the stomach acid. The deep depression has not returned. But the grogginess, well that is the pits.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com