Today I have stopped the last of the Paxil. I will see what it does to me. I have also been on Tricor for the past Month. I stopped the Tricor on the 30th of Oct. I was having incredible Migraines. It is connected to headaches. I am supplementing with 500mg of magnesium 3 or 4 times a day. It has helped. But I have had a constant migraine since about the end of the first week of Oct. Intense.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Rivera Still can't find device and the "B" list starts
I called Dr Rivera on Tuesday the 14th and found out that he still has not found the device to adjust the VNS unit. It was last adjusted July 23rd. I have reduced the drugs again starting on the 15th and this time had very little problems. I stopped the restless leg syndrome drug. That drug Ropinirole (Requip), seems to be another mind drug and I would rather not start taking it and stay on it for years and years. I have had my ups and downs. But on the whole I seem better. More alert, more able to do art when coming home after working all day. I can enjoy life more.
One thing I do notice is that anger and the deepness that I experience it takes so much out of me that I almost feel sick, weak, after an episode. I will have to counter with anger management techniques. Only one person makes me that mad at the present. That is Bruno. I will just call him that. I will keep a record here of what he says and does that starts me off. After all this is part of the depression. Intense anger.
This has been going on since April 08. Luckily we do not work together much.
Last week within one hour of arriving on shift he insults me 3 times. I can only remember him calling my order instructions chicken scratch and saying he could not help me because he could not read them. So instead he stands around while I am busy and the orders are piling up. He did ring me up. And helped frame current orders. Then he said that most people don't mind waiting for me{you are soooo slow} (insinuating that it was ok for them to wait while he stood around. The third thing that he said I can't remember now).
Today he comes in early, while I am busy, doesn't offer help, just stares at me, and starts to stock the cart. It did not need stocking. Not at that time. Then he complains that it took me 15 min to glue down and frame three silhouettes. It was way more than that. five singles and a triple. And dating on eight cards.
Maybe if I write this stuff down, I can get a perspective on it and maybe learn to deal with it in a better way. (This type of anger was common when under the depression, a kind of blind OCD rumination of problems and disgruntlement-editor)
One thing I do notice is that anger and the deepness that I experience it takes so much out of me that I almost feel sick, weak, after an episode. I will have to counter with anger management techniques. Only one person makes me that mad at the present. That is Bruno. I will just call him that. I will keep a record here of what he says and does that starts me off. After all this is part of the depression. Intense anger.
This has been going on since April 08. Luckily we do not work together much.
Last week within one hour of arriving on shift he insults me 3 times. I can only remember him calling my order instructions chicken scratch and saying he could not help me because he could not read them. So instead he stands around while I am busy and the orders are piling up. He did ring me up. And helped frame current orders. Then he said that most people don't mind waiting for me{you are soooo slow} (insinuating that it was ok for them to wait while he stood around. The third thing that he said I can't remember now).
Today he comes in early, while I am busy, doesn't offer help, just stares at me, and starts to stock the cart. It did not need stocking. Not at that time. Then he complains that it took me 15 min to glue down and frame three silhouettes. It was way more than that. five singles and a triple. And dating on eight cards.
Maybe if I write this stuff down, I can get a perspective on it and maybe learn to deal with it in a better way. (This type of anger was common when under the depression, a kind of blind OCD rumination of problems and disgruntlement-editor)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Migraine, Again
A migraine, with quite shocking visual affects in the left eye started full blast seven days after the reduction of the medication. And has continued for, as of this date, 13 days. The dull pain in the neck has lessened, but the floaters have maintained. Although they have lessened in the amount in the visual field over the same time. But there is no depression at this time. There was some panic at 4 days after the reduction, a little of depression for 1/2 day. Then the depression ceased, but the headache continued.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Ropinirole: Compounding Migraines?
I am still having migraines, but constantly now. Dr. Karabatos has told me to stop the Ropinirole (Requip), which was prescribed to stop the restless leg problem, and see if the migraines are helped. He took my blood pressure an it was very low. Since ropinirole can make a person dizzy and faint, this might be adding to the problem. I wonder if potassium is needed. Or sodium.
I have passed the reduction of the paroxitine (Paxil). I was going into depression and the implant pulled me up at least twice these past two weeks. I seem to be getting stronger in that aspect as the days go by.
Doctor Karabatos as changed my thyroid med to .150mg Synthyroid and I will start taking it tommorrow. He has added a new cholesterol drug in hopes of bringing down the bad cholesterol. It is not generic and will cost at least 50 bucks (I expect). Dr K wants me to have a lower abdomen CT scan to check the liver. I have a high liver enzymes and perhaps the drugs are causing some sort of damage.
I have passed the reduction of the paroxitine (Paxil). I was going into depression and the implant pulled me up at least twice these past two weeks. I seem to be getting stronger in that aspect as the days go by.
Doctor Karabatos as changed my thyroid med to .150mg Synthyroid and I will start taking it tommorrow. He has added a new cholesterol drug in hopes of bringing down the bad cholesterol. It is not generic and will cost at least 50 bucks (I expect). Dr K wants me to have a lower abdomen CT scan to check the liver. I have a high liver enzymes and perhaps the drugs are causing some sort of damage.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Lower dose without increase to VNS
Because of the storms Dr. Rivera could not increase the VNS therapy today because he could not find the device to do so. It is the size of a remote control for a TV.What with the flooding and the moving of his office furniture he has misplaced it. Had I known this I would not have gone up there to his office. It is not that I needed it this time, but I shortly will. He wants me to go down 15mg in the paroxitine (Paxil). I am having migraines that I forgot to tell him about. The migraines are not constant, and not fullblown. But I am having tense upper back soreness. I am using the massage pillow that John gave me.We will see, and I will start the lower dose tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Storms
The recent summer storms have caused a big problem for me. Dr Rivera is in Orange City, which is about 40 miles north of here and that area was severely flooded. His office was inundated and everything was ruined. I don't know if the device that controls my happiness is damaged of not. Right now I am doing more than fine.
I am more creative in every way. I can leave old ways of thinking behind by thinking around the problem.
I have also been able to accept that I need my time. My time to create, relax, read, contact old friends. I seem to love myself more. And in that can give more to others when they need it. Things seem more OK.
I am more creative in every way. I can leave old ways of thinking behind by thinking around the problem.
I have also been able to accept that I need my time. My time to create, relax, read, contact old friends. I seem to love myself more. And in that can give more to others when they need it. Things seem more OK.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Another Downturn
The last adjustment on the implant was about a month ago. Many stressful things have happened since then. The first two weeks I was feeling the tingling in the brain most of the time. (Tingling in the lower left rear quadrant of the brain has happen for many years. It now happens after prayer, singing, using traction on the neck, all releasing chemicals, perhaps serotonin-editor) Then I had a period of time that I was constantly on the move and did not have a minute to myself for about two weeks. Then the tiredness started, it lasted for two days and then the anxiety came full blown and then the depression. I will say that the depression was not as deep. This was the first time since the implant was turned on that I had a full blown episode. but at least I knew that with the implant it would decrease within hours. Knowing that really helped. I still am not totally back, but it is much better with each day. If I get stressed during the day the anxiety comes, but I can control it with my thoughts.
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