Sunday, September 19, 2010

Saturday Night Consult

Some heavy stuff went down yesterday. Heavy depression in the morning. I believed that it was, well the peanut butter that I ate the night before. When I thought that it began to clear up. I was able to work through the day. I was struggling with it all morning. Even to the point of quoting scripture to myself. That was pretty scarey, I mean that I was begging God to help. I mean begging, for the depression pushed me into a small place of darkness and I knew God was of light. I knew He would not abandoned me. I was at work,  a place of bright music, of happy children and bright dancing actors, and I felt squished into a corner of darkness. All because of peanut butter?
Aaron, my coworker arrives and during the day he describes what he does when he finds a small metal thing in his pocket. It is a magnifying glass used to proof work in printing shops. It was his dad's. His dad is dying right now. Aaron prays once in the morn for his dad, and each time he touches that piece of metal that sits with his change in his pants pocket for the rest of the day Aaron thanks God for the help for Aaron knows that God has helped his dad. That is faith. Aaron spoke to me of his faith. Four days before Stephanie West at Dr. Dan's speaks to me of faith. When this is confirmed by two people with in one week God is speaking to me. To me to have faith for this health process to work.
Then I put in a call to Dr. Dan. It was before Aaron talked to me. I held the phone for about two hours and put it away, for I don't like to carry it on me. When I pick it up after work to check messages, well both Dr. D and F had called back. I returned the calls and left D a message, and spoke about a half hour to F. It was a mind blowing call. ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.
Basically he listened and then asked me, what would Janet be like if she felt she was worth something. For I had ranted about not feeling like i was worth anything. I could not answer him. I ranted more. He wants to bring in a psychologist from Miami to phone consult sometime in the near future. THIS WAS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT CALL ON THE WAY HOME FROM WORK. No other Doctor or any medical team has helped me like this.

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