Monday, August 26, 2013

Bipolar Another Diagnoses

Bipolar is just another face of the same disease which is depression. My psychiatrist that has been treating me for about 18 months has diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, OCD, and now bipolar. I have been through all these in the past 18 months.  My type appears to be bipolar two. That is where the depression is much more in effect than the mania. In fact the psychiatrist said that my mania is just bringing me back to a near normal state not a true mania. Mania is where a person is euphoric and perceives themselves as special somehow. They spend money that they can't afford. Their own behavior is risky in matters of sex, money, personal relationships, and their behavior at work as well is risky and ill advised.
So I am just experiencing another face of the same problem.

Bipolar: What I have?

I have been searching for what is wrong with me for all my life. Maybe now I can at least get some answers. The following blog entry may shed some light on the subject www.Yes and Yes.org

Her story is different than mine, but it would explain many things that I have been going through not only now, but all my life. When I did the completely natural thing with my diet and got off all meds, I ended up in a mental hospital.  When I went off I still cycled between feeling barely good to down in the dumps. At that time it was weekly. Rather steady and I thought it was allergies. That certain foods caused a reaction which was depression. Needless to say this led to a limited diet which ended up in a compulsive obsession that food and the environment was the source of my depression. This led to an outbreak in anxiety attacks. I feared to eat foods, be in certain places. I was spiraling down into a breakdown. I still go and get allergy shots, but I know that anxiety fed my allergies and their intensity.
I asked the allergy doctor if allergies in general triggered anxiety. He agreed with me that they did. He leaned in close to me and told me that he could help me with my allergies. Period. But what ever I had that went past them was in my head. Maybe not in those words, but with that intent. I returned home and went and sat in the room that before was not "cleaned" up enough from the dust and dust mites. And I realized that my fear of that room and  its dirt was gone.
Almost that quickly did my other fears decreased. I did not run out of my outside area at work anymore. Before I did because of my fear of the environment. That realization and yes, medications. I think that the knowledge that I am taking shots for the allergies and the psych medications for anxiety and depression is helping just as much as the actual medications for both.