The next time I see the surgeon is next week on Thursday. That will be for removal of the bandages and wound inspection.I can see my progress now almost hourly. However I contracted a cold while there. So I am coughing up stuff already. Maybe a trip to Dr Karabatos for antibiotics will be in order. Lots of Vitamin C perhaps.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
It's done!
We rode north 50 miles in the relatively traffic free pre-dawn hours of the 26th of Feb.
It only took an hour and the weather was great.
They put me under general anesthesia and I slept on whilest they cut me. I woke up in the recovery room with David right beside me.
Soreness in the upper left chest, a sore throat, real pain when I was lifting myself out of a sitting position. Slept most of the day, and woke up every two hours throughout the night.
the implant of the device was right under the collar bone and the wire that connects the device to the Vagus nerve snakes up the left side of my neck and wraps itself around the nerve about half way up the neck.
The nerve will be stimulated for a few seconds then off for some time. But that can vary, as the doctor adjusts the implant to meet my needs.
At last it is done, now on with the rest of the drama.
It only took an hour and the weather was great.
They put me under general anesthesia and I slept on whilest they cut me. I woke up in the recovery room with David right beside me.
Soreness in the upper left chest, a sore throat, real pain when I was lifting myself out of a sitting position. Slept most of the day, and woke up every two hours throughout the night.
the implant of the device was right under the collar bone and the wire that connects the device to the Vagus nerve snakes up the left side of my neck and wraps itself around the nerve about half way up the neck.
The nerve will be stimulated for a few seconds then off for some time. But that can vary, as the doctor adjusts the implant to meet my needs.
At last it is done, now on with the rest of the drama.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Medication failure, again
I can't believe I am going through this again. I am on all this medication and I still have this urge to cry. I pull my thoughts together and made myself remember the happiness that I experienced while I was in California for my 30 anniversary, made myself remember last week when I was on that road trip to Deland. The urge subsided somewhat. But what caused it? Just everyday life stresses. I am trying, without much success, to get a handle on it. Menopause is almost over, but then again it might only be about half way through.
Just about up to here with it all.
Crying has become a common reaction, on a weekly basis, to just everyday life. I always have a feeling of I am not doing enough to warrant me relaxing. It is a Catch 22. I have to realize that I can, with the mental capacity that I have, only do so much. And that what ever I do it has to be enough. Period. No more judgements on that part.
Just about up to here with it all.
Crying has become a common reaction, on a weekly basis, to just everyday life. I always have a feeling of I am not doing enough to warrant me relaxing. It is a Catch 22. I have to realize that I can, with the mental capacity that I have, only do so much. And that what ever I do it has to be enough. Period. No more judgements on that part.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Lapse in Cymbalta
The latest headline in the tumultuous life of the medicated. With silent wavering the mind continues to withdrawal from the one of the two leaders of the drug cocktail that I daily consume. I am coming off of Cymbalta at this time. Awaiting the turn on of the implant. Dizziness, odd sensations of reality shifts, I mean can I really read peoples minds? Sometimes I believe I can, most of the time the information from what I believe is mindreading is picked up from the minute things said or done by the person I am "mindreading". I think that's it.
I am now having silent migraines on a daily basis, floaters and visual outages, sensitivity to noise. And the need for caffeine is beyond huge.
Still trying to lose some weight, and the different levels of the drugs sometimes speeds up the metabolism. I don't know how else to explain it. Cram peanut butter down my food hole and I should fear revenge from the fat god. But I survive that assault and I continue to bloat my way through life. On a happy note from the instrument that is my life the implant is reported to help food cravings to stop. Heh, heh, we'll see.
I am now having silent migraines on a daily basis, floaters and visual outages, sensitivity to noise. And the need for caffeine is beyond huge.
Still trying to lose some weight, and the different levels of the drugs sometimes speeds up the metabolism. I don't know how else to explain it. Cram peanut butter down my food hole and I should fear revenge from the fat god. But I survive that assault and I continue to bloat my way through life. On a happy note from the instrument that is my life the implant is reported to help food cravings to stop. Heh, heh, we'll see.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Now I wait
I am waiting now for the surgery to occur. The pre-op is about two weeks before surgery. I editing the blog I found nothing under this title. Still going into depressions.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Great Day
I left early in the morning yesterday for the road trip that turned into a great day.
The people at the hospital were kind, and chatty to boot. I was allowed to see the doctor before my time because I was only touching base with him. He talked to me for about five minutes and they charged me the co-pay of 50.00. Maybe he, by standards, has to see me again just to "nail things together".(Or to collect another fee?)
Changed my time to have the procedure to 6 am. I begged for a more saner time, but they said no.
The tech that drew my blood and pre-admitted me said that some how the VNS slows things down. I will ask Cheryl about this. I want to know a little more of what to expect, and how it will work. I know know the basics, but I am always exhausted and I don't need to slow things down any more. We will see.
Also Cheryl said that ECT (ElectroConvulsive Therapy) can be used after the implant, if needed. The unit must be turned off while the electricity is surging through the brain. I really don't want ECT.
Dr Figueroa said I would (could) lose creativity if I used ECT. Now, as an artist I don't want to go down that path, but if it would give some kind of happiness, then if this doesn't work, I will consider ECT.
I think that David, my beloved husband, is afraid that the ECT will totally change my personality. Could possibly. So could VNS, but maybe to the good? Haven't heard about changing personality to the negative in any support information that has been given to me (or found on the internet).We will see.
The people at the hospital were kind, and chatty to boot. I was allowed to see the doctor before my time because I was only touching base with him. He talked to me for about five minutes and they charged me the co-pay of 50.00. Maybe he, by standards, has to see me again just to "nail things together".(Or to collect another fee?)
Changed my time to have the procedure to 6 am. I begged for a more saner time, but they said no.
The tech that drew my blood and pre-admitted me said that some how the VNS slows things down. I will ask Cheryl about this. I want to know a little more of what to expect, and how it will work. I know know the basics, but I am always exhausted and I don't need to slow things down any more. We will see.
Also Cheryl said that ECT (ElectroConvulsive Therapy) can be used after the implant, if needed. The unit must be turned off while the electricity is surging through the brain. I really don't want ECT.
Dr Figueroa said I would (could) lose creativity if I used ECT. Now, as an artist I don't want to go down that path, but if it would give some kind of happiness, then if this doesn't work, I will consider ECT.
I think that David, my beloved husband, is afraid that the ECT will totally change my personality. Could possibly. So could VNS, but maybe to the good? Haven't heard about changing personality to the negative in any support information that has been given to me (or found on the internet).We will see.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Non Communication
The non communication between the surgical and the operational part of this setup is now starting. I paid 894.00 to the surgeon yesterday. Insurance deductible. Now the hospital thinks they are to get this amount. And of course, I can't speak to a person directly, only through messages. So a message was left. Now I wait.
Writing about it as it happens seems to help the frustration.
Writing about it as it happens seems to help the frustration.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Dr. Corbyons Appointment Nurse, Pam
Pam has given me the skinny. She said that she forgot to write it down in the book that we had changed it. She said that she would take care of it. I gave her my credit card number and she will hand it off to the billing person.
Next step is a one o'clock appointment for out patient pre-op, then another appointment at the surgeon's office at 3:30. Since I had to wait for ever the last time I saw him, I will take a book and artwork to keep me busy. This doctor has no concept of other people's time. Period.
Now I will look up how to get to the hospital (Deland, FL) and to the outpatient area at the hospital.
Extreme fatigue and drowsiness. One eye on the computer, the other eye closes in a state of fatigue.
Next step is a one o'clock appointment for out patient pre-op, then another appointment at the surgeon's office at 3:30. Since I had to wait for ever the last time I saw him, I will take a book and artwork to keep me busy. This doctor has no concept of other people's time. Period.
Now I will look up how to get to the hospital (Deland, FL) and to the outpatient area at the hospital.
Extreme fatigue and drowsiness. One eye on the computer, the other eye closes in a state of fatigue.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Scheduling screw-up
There has been some kind of scheduling mishap with the surgeons office and I am endeavoring to straighten it out. Called them this morning and got put into the voice mail system. So hurry up and wait.
Medication failure yesterday. No motivation to do anything. Slept for 3 hours. Ate nothing but cereals and cookies and chocolate. What a bummer to the diet. Today I will have another go at it.
I believe that the job itself is very stressful. Noise beyond belief, crying babies, fireworks all combine to make it very loud and aggravating. Distractions and interruptions as well. Over the years I have tried to develop a tolerance for the situation, but it has not worked and I need to address this problem. I think that the situation would be nearly the same in any other job. Different place for work, different stressors would emerge and I would have that environment to deal with.
Maybe after the implant I will see things a bit differently, don't know, and really don't expect it.
Medication failure yesterday. No motivation to do anything. Slept for 3 hours. Ate nothing but cereals and cookies and chocolate. What a bummer to the diet. Today I will have another go at it.
I believe that the job itself is very stressful. Noise beyond belief, crying babies, fireworks all combine to make it very loud and aggravating. Distractions and interruptions as well. Over the years I have tried to develop a tolerance for the situation, but it has not worked and I need to address this problem. I think that the situation would be nearly the same in any other job. Different place for work, different stressors would emerge and I would have that environment to deal with.
Maybe after the implant I will see things a bit differently, don't know, and really don't expect it.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Information mix up
I returned the call from Corbyon and there is a mix up with the scheduling of the pre-op. Also I will need to pay the deductable of 892.86 before pre-op. The person I was talking to, Pam, was off this week. So I will follow through with her on Monday, up coming. Keeping one person as your link to a problem has always helped me in the past.
A call in the night
Got home last night to find the doctor's number on the voice mail. Dr. Corbyon. And a call from Cheryl. I have everything set up, but there might be a hitch some where. So today I will call.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
Taking more of the medications has helped immensely but I know it will be at a cost later on. At least the thoughts of bloody knives and car accidents have stopped. Migraines are still here daily. I have stopped crying on a daily basis.
I listened to the support call on this past Tuesday. I have gained some hope.
Another thing that helps me is that I tell myself stories that I make up on the spot. I do this on the ride home from work. Stories of adventure, sci-fi, fantasy. Some are stories that mirror what is going on in my life. Some are pure fantasy. It diverts the mind, enhances the creative mind and in so doing releases serotonin. By the time I get home, I feel great. This is while I am on four meds. I can imagine what it would like without the meds. No thoughts other than horror scenes and terror screams.
I think the provigil is doing a stress number on my heart. I seem to have a little pain that I can not explain right over that area since I upped the dosage.
My upper back is in stress, all knotted up. I know that the meds help control the level of stress that I feel in the body and they control the fibermyalgia that I have because of the depression, but why, on a higher dose are the knots in the back not controlled?
I still have food cravings as well. Junk food rules, starchy, salty, anything goes.
At least I am not at the chocolate stage. When nothing helps but chocolate, God help me. Chocolate triggers, I believe, serotonin, or one of the amino acids that makes up what I need in the brain. but by the time that strikes me I am pretty low.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Support Group conference call
I dialed in to the support line at Cyberonics and now I have questions that I did not have before. Do I have to come off of the drugs before hand? because that is impossible. But it also gave me hope as well.
The interviewee was questioned very well, and I think the questions that I have can be answered by Cheryl.
I am still taking the drugs in a rather haphazzard kind of way. Just to get through until I see Dr. Rivera, the guy in Orange City.
The interviewee was questioned very well, and I think the questions that I have can be answered by Cheryl.
I am still taking the drugs in a rather haphazzard kind of way. Just to get through until I see Dr. Rivera, the guy in Orange City.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Dr. Rivera
Finally, I have a doctor to see after the implantation. Now I will quiz the mapquest site and see where he is located. He will be a road trip away, and maybe I can use the trips to snag a few photos. You know, old houses, colorful flowers that sort of thing. So the week ends well. On to the next step.
No, we don't take that insurance
Why would a company,in this case, Aetna, approve a procedure and not have a doctor in the area to follow through. I guess that is the way of things. Just because it is approved, does not mean the doctors in the area care to get certified to do it. So I may have the implant but not have the doctor to adjust it. Right now I have given my insurance information to a doctor in Orange City. That is about 30 miles north of here.
In reality,if I go even once a month, big deal. I go 48 round trip miles to work 5 days a week. I am glad that I thought to try to set up this follow up visit now. The information that I got from Cyberonics as to which doctor to call was old and out dated. The office help did not even know what VNS therapy was, or if they did they would not take the insurance that I have. O.K. time to roll up the ol' sleeves and, like a pitbull, hold on tight. That means if I have to educate, plead and beg, I will.
I must take that tack for now. Yesterday I melted to tears after four negative phone calls. Dr Fig will not get certified, so he's out. In a way good. Start anew.
In reality,if I go even once a month, big deal. I go 48 round trip miles to work 5 days a week. I am glad that I thought to try to set up this follow up visit now. The information that I got from Cyberonics as to which doctor to call was old and out dated. The office help did not even know what VNS therapy was, or if they did they would not take the insurance that I have. O.K. time to roll up the ol' sleeves and, like a pitbull, hold on tight. That means if I have to educate, plead and beg, I will.
I must take that tack for now. Yesterday I melted to tears after four negative phone calls. Dr Fig will not get certified, so he's out. In a way good. Start anew.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Finding a doctor
Cheryl at Cyberonics is an angel. Every number I called this AM led down to a dead end, wrong number, can't take your type of insurance. At first I told myself, what's the use to have a procedure done and the only doctor to deal with it is in Daytona? almost 45 miles away? By the forth or fifth negative ending call, I was in tears. So when it comes to dead ends I turn to Cheryl. She said she will try again. May be a neurologist will do the dosing, and I can stay with Dr. Fig. I don't like it, but for the start it could be done.
There is another thing that I have been doing. Knowing that doctor Fig decided that He would not prescribe any more drugs, and I was still going into depression, I decided to
take more of what I have. I know that this will possibly harm the liver, and make me run out sooner than I should. But I can refill my scripts on the fifth day before they are empty. This gives me more meds. I can only take 1/2 a dose of any that i take, and that will help me get through. I don't want to do that, but I don't want to slip into the depression.
I think it maybe time to look elsewhere for a doctor. I think Dr. Fig doesn't know what the hell to do for me.
I am having constant migraines now. Taking OTC med for that. but Migraines can be helped by the implant.
I will wait and pray. but the prayer thing, well, I don't know about it. I still do it,and we will see.
There is another thing that I have been doing. Knowing that doctor Fig decided that He would not prescribe any more drugs, and I was still going into depression, I decided to
take more of what I have. I know that this will possibly harm the liver, and make me run out sooner than I should. But I can refill my scripts on the fifth day before they are empty. This gives me more meds. I can only take 1/2 a dose of any that i take, and that will help me get through. I don't want to do that, but I don't want to slip into the depression.
I think it maybe time to look elsewhere for a doctor. I think Dr. Fig doesn't know what the hell to do for me.
I am having constant migraines now. Taking OTC med for that. but Migraines can be helped by the implant.
I will wait and pray. but the prayer thing, well, I don't know about it. I still do it,and we will see.
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