Saturday, May 17, 2008

Reaction from New level

My incision area started to hurt yesterday, as did the area that the lead attaches to the Vagus Nerve. The sensation lasted about half an hour and then a head ache on that side of the head. The next stimulation period the same pain, but much less, with no headache. But I am up again. More motivated to paint, sculpt, and to move about, as in yard work.
The hospital has not billed me yet and it has been since Feb. 26th. I did contact them and apparently they are resubmitting it to the insurance company and that takes about a month to six weeks to do.
Meanwhile I notice that I can think around problems better. I can see them as less threatening. I can move off the ruminating thoughts and on to other, more creative ones. I believe that it has helped in my OCD. I am not locked into certain behaviors as much.












Friday, May 16, 2008

A new adjusted level (3)

I spoke to Tish (my sister-in-law, a pharmacist ) about the implant. And because she works with diabetics she was very interested to know about the device. I feel as if I am in limbo about my weight. I seem to be more active, but I am not motivated to exercise more. I thought I would be. I still crave carbs somewhat. I am going through a peanut butter phase.
On the 14th, just two days ago, I got the implant adjusted up again. I believe it was for .75 at 180 minutes. Dr. Rivera felt I should not take an increase in the stimulation, but continue to let the drugs decrease. He gave me the increase in the stimulation, and let the drugs continue at the same level.
My reaction was a little different. A slight bit of anxiety came, then went. Then the depression free state returned. I had more energy. I even had motivation to get things prepared to begin an oil painting. That is amazing after working out in the sun all day. (I had always been so incredibly tired that I could not even be the least bit creative or motivated to create after such a long day.-editor)



Sunday, May 4, 2008

Certain Strangeness

For the past two days I've been tremendously tired and feeling disconnected from reality.A kind of pushed to the limit, let me rest type of feeling. Am I going into depression, or is the implant going to save me? It is just that the disconnect feeling is staying around too long. I am falling back into the redundant pit with problems at work. Over and over in the brain. So much stuff. Yuck! Struggle to break free. If brain was not in this state, troubles at work would be blown off. I can see it now. Very clearly.