Bipolar Another Diagnoses

Bipolar is just another face of the same disease which is depression. My psychiatrist that has been treating me for about 18 months has diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, OCD, and now bipolar. I have been through all these in the past 18 months.  My type appears to be bipolar two. That is where the depression is much more in effect than the mania. In fact the psychiatrist said that my mania is just bringing me back to a near normal state not a true mania. Mania is where a person is euphoric and perceives themselves as special somehow. They spend money that they can't afford. Their own behavior is risky in matters of sex, money, personal relationships, and their behavior at work as well is risky and ill advised.
So I am just experiencing another face of the same problem.

Bipolar: What I have?

I have been searching for what is wrong with me for all my life. Maybe now I can at least get some answers. The following blog entry may shed some light on the subject www.Yes and Yes.org

Her story is different than mine, but it would explain many things that I have been going through not only now, but all my life. When I did the completely natural thing with my diet and got off all meds, I ended up in a mental hospital.  When I went off I still cycled between feeling barely good to down in the dumps. At that time it was weekly. Rather steady and I thought it was allergies. That certain foods caused a reaction which was depression. Needless to say this led to a limited diet which ended up in a compulsive obsession that food and the environment was the source of my depression. This led to an outbreak in anxiety attacks. I feared to eat foods, be in certain places. I was spiraling down into a breakdown. I still go and get allergy shots, but I know that anxiety fed my allergies and their intensity.
I asked the allergy doctor if allergies in general triggered anxiety. He agreed with me that they did. He leaned in close to me and told me that he could help me with my allergies. Period. But what ever I had that went past them was in my head. Maybe not in those words, but with that intent. I returned home and went and sat in the room that before was not "cleaned" up enough from the dust and dust mites. And I realized that my fear of that room and  its dirt was gone.
Almost that quickly did my other fears decreased. I did not run out of my outside area at work anymore. Before I did because of my fear of the environment. That realization and yes, medications. I think that the knowledge that I am taking shots for the allergies and the psych medications for anxiety and depression is helping just as much as the actual medications for both.

Back in Depression Again

Have you ever noticed that when you are going down into a depression and hurting inside people around you really are tired of hearing about it. I am tired of complaining about it as well. Maybe it is only a perception on my part. But it is still there.
I notice that my thoughts take a certain path as depression moves in. I have memories of past situations that are interpeted as negitive presently (now) but when they happened they were not negitive. I see everything through a type of gauze made of depression. The thoughts have nothing to do with what is going on at present.
Physically I become fatigued past all coffee or engery drink(s). Sleep does not refresh me. When I look at the chores for the day they overwhelm me. They aren't any different than other chores that I had to do without the depression. It just is a huge wall standing between me and my life.
People that do not have to deal with this disease will not understand that you are locked into the situation. Try as you might to move the wall you can not.
For me I have been leaning on Christ more and more. I am reading the Bible on my IPad. It is less intimidating than that huge book called "THE BIBLE". Yet the bible study things like maps, bible dictionaries etc are on the IPad and in the Bible Study App by Olive Tree.
So I am learning small steps at a time. This world and this depression is bigger than me. I need help with it.  More than just medications. Period.

Potassium is Another Key

I was having muscle twitching and began drinking coconut water after a pharmacist suggested it. I was concerned about the sugar content for I pre-diabetic. She said that coconut water was what contained a hefty amount  of potassium and should be consumed rather than gator aid.
As I increased the amount of potassium the depression decreased.
Check out these websites EzineMark, livestrong.com, and to caution against overdoing it and that danger check this out Metabolism Associates.

Study the relationship of sodium and potassium as well as calcium and magnesium. Getting all these nutrients in the right balance will help in your fight with depression.

Check this out as well for medications that deplete potassium University of Maryland Medical Center

My husband takes blood pressure medication  and he was hospitalized for passing out caused by potassium deficiency.

I also suffer from carpal tunnel when I get low on potassium.

Check out this from Web MD

What to Expect

The normal range for potassium is 3.6 to 4.8 milliequivalents per liter or mEq/l. Anything below 3.6 is considered low. Anything below 2.5 could be life-threatening. You can have a mildly low potassium level for years and have only mild fatigue or leg cramps at times. Often, low potassium is discovered during a routine blood test. As levels of potassium get lower, symptoms increase. If the level goes below 2 mEq/l, there may be total collapse and loss of muscle function. Usually, symptoms go away with treatment. Some abnormal heart rhythms, though, may take time to come back to normal.

Also check this out from the same source:

What are the risks of taking potassium?

• Side effects. At normal doses, potassium is fairly safe. It may cause an upset stomach. Some people have allergies to potassium supplements.
• Interactions. Potassium supplements may not be safe if you take certain medicines for diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. Check with your doctor first if you take any medications before you take potassium supplements.
• Warnings. People with kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, Addison's disease, stomach ulcers, or other health problems should never take potassium supplements without talking to a doctor first.
• Overdose. Signs of a potassium overdose include confusion, tingling sensation in the limbs, low blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, weakness, and coma. Get emergency medical help immediately.

Locked out!

I was locked out of my blogger account some months ago. It was a mix up in the information needed to log on.
I am now on 125mg of Anafranil and 300 mg of Lamictal. 2.5mg of Abilify.  Through trial and error my doctor has come to the conclusion that SSRI's do not work for me. I was weened off that type of medication and went on the above about six months ago.
It has worked wonders. The medications have actually changed the thoughts passing through the brain. It has stopped the OCD to the point that I can see things more clearly and accept that things are not as negative as I interpret them to be. One of the thoughts that I have had constantly is that I must control every little detail in my life. If I could not control it, money, bills, health etc my anxiety would multiply and then I would go into depression. These meds have brought me to a point that I can see how the OCD and depression have controlled me all my life.
Also I am on a walk with Jesus now. One thing that I know is that as I turn over the needs of my life to the Lord He gives me a sense of peace. I know the medications are working on me as well. But to have a sense of relief when I pray is getting stronger and stronger. Little things are happening to me day by day. I am beginning to turn everything over to God. And the bills are getting paid. And I am beginning to realize that I am not alone in the struggle with the disease. I am not here to be judged by others and myself and come up lacking. I am a child of God, a new creation, a unique one with no comparison to  anyone or anything else.

                               REALLY!