I called Dr Rivera on Tuesday the 14th and found out that he still has not found the device to adjust the VNS unit. It was last adjusted July 23rd. I have reduced the drugs again starting on the 15th and this time had very little problems. I stopped the restless leg syndrome drug. That drug Ropinirole (Requip), seems to be another mind drug and I would rather not start taking it and stay on it for years and years. I have had my ups and downs. But on the whole I seem better. More alert, more able to do art when coming home after working all day. I can enjoy life more.
One thing I do notice is that anger and the deepness that I experience it takes so much out of me that I almost feel sick, weak, after an episode. I will have to counter with anger management techniques. Only one person makes me that mad at the present. That is Bruno. I will just call him that. I will keep a record here of what he says and does that starts me off. After all this is part of the depression. Intense anger.
This has been going on since April 08. Luckily we do not work together much.
Last week within one hour of arriving on shift he insults me 3 times. I can only remember him calling my order instructions chicken scratch and saying he could not help me because he could not read them. So instead he stands around while I am busy and the orders are piling up. He did ring me up. And helped frame current orders. Then he said that most people don't mind waiting for me{you are soooo slow} (insinuating that it was ok for them to wait while he stood around. The third thing that he said I can't remember now).
Today he comes in early, while I am busy, doesn't offer help, just stares at me, and starts to stock the cart. It did not need stocking. Not at that time. Then he complains that it took me 15 min to glue down and frame three silhouettes. It was way more than that. five singles and a triple. And dating on eight cards.
Maybe if I write this stuff down, I can get a perspective on it and maybe learn to deal with it in a better way. (This type of anger was common when under the depression, a kind of blind OCD rumination of problems and disgruntlement-editor)
One thing I do notice is that anger and the deepness that I experience it takes so much out of me that I almost feel sick, weak, after an episode. I will have to counter with anger management techniques. Only one person makes me that mad at the present. That is Bruno. I will just call him that. I will keep a record here of what he says and does that starts me off. After all this is part of the depression. Intense anger.
This has been going on since April 08. Luckily we do not work together much.
Last week within one hour of arriving on shift he insults me 3 times. I can only remember him calling my order instructions chicken scratch and saying he could not help me because he could not read them. So instead he stands around while I am busy and the orders are piling up. He did ring me up. And helped frame current orders. Then he said that most people don't mind waiting for me{you are soooo slow} (insinuating that it was ok for them to wait while he stood around. The third thing that he said I can't remember now).
Today he comes in early, while I am busy, doesn't offer help, just stares at me, and starts to stock the cart. It did not need stocking. Not at that time. Then he complains that it took me 15 min to glue down and frame three silhouettes. It was way more than that. five singles and a triple. And dating on eight cards.
Maybe if I write this stuff down, I can get a perspective on it and maybe learn to deal with it in a better way. (This type of anger was common when under the depression, a kind of blind OCD rumination of problems and disgruntlement-editor)
