VNS Therpy for Depression

I am beginning to look into Vagus Nerve Stimulation for my depression. Today I tried to call the Cyberonics Corp. to get more information on their device. I am fed up with the run around with the antidepressants that I am on. When they are changed constantly because they are not working, I am unable to deal with the decisions necessary to take charge of my depression. Aetna, the ever present watchdog of the medicine cabinet does not let me have what I need when I need it. They deny the increase that is prescribed, and I am left out in the cold. I feel so cheated. Cheated of the dignity of being mentally competent to deal with fighting the insurance. I would be forever in debt to any procedure that would let me stand tall and drug free. But because I can't do that because of the nature of the disease, I remain frustrated. Pause: Stop, think, live.
Every day I fight. I fight my own mind. As I write this I keep thinking to even mention this problem to myself, or to others, has become boring, passe and nerve wracking. Depression sucks. But hey! There is always the fight, the fight to remain suicidal thought free. I want to try anything, or procedure that is available that would let me have a deep feeling of true joy and is legal. Also it would have to work on my memory. I have very few memories of joy. I have a good life, and I am treated well by all around me, but my mind treats me like a piece of crap.  Hey enough already, I am bored with myself.

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