Support and response for request for prayer

Donna,
Thank you for your support. Yes it is hard. I have tried every thing I know of. My sugar is borderline at last check, before I lost some weight. I still battle with cravings, but I have re-added exercise to the regimen. When I get moving about I am better mentally. I have done the vitamin route, the Omega 3 route, am on thyroid med and cholesterol path. I have kept what works. Eating fresh veggies and fruit every day. I admit I am addicted to caffeine, but I can do without if necessary.
John suffers from migraines when stressed. Mine are every day at this point. Some days worse that others. I am on the most amount of drugs that I have ever been on. The depression is lifting at this time, how ever this has happen sixteen times before. The meds last a few weeks sometimes a few months then they stop working, and on to another one. I am on a 32 hour week at work, any more and I get sick with anxiety and depression attacks. As it is with a low grade migraine almost every day something needs to be done that is more permanent .
Yes I intend to call you.
Thanks for the prayers too.
Janet


Janet,
I am sorry to hear of the troubles you are having. I know it must be very hard. Give me a call when you get a chance. You know depression is common with diabetes too. My brother Michael struggled for years and years. I am off next week Nov. 19, all schools are out. You like to be well educated about an illness like I do, nothing is ever the same after surgery. I just had surgery on my right hand Nov 5 for a trigger thumb. I tried 4 alternatives before that. Have you tried vitamin and mineral therapy and chiropractic adjustments?Tri Vita has a gluco balance to cut carb cravings and balance blood sugar. I am taking many of the vitamins and 3 diabetic medicines and am getting better control now with my last A1C test. 18009917116. M. and I will be praying for you. Please give me a call after 5 one day when you get a
chance.

nicktimeflyer.com

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Questions have shown up

John, my brother, has asked how long will the effect last.It has occurred to me that he was asking about the VNS device's length of effectiveness and I must ask about this factor. But the thought that this device is much like a heart pace maker has occurred to me as well. The device may not last as long as is profitable for the initial investment.Or will I have to come up with a large amount of money every, what, seven to ten years? Not to mention the cost of the insurance to replace the batteries every five years.
But if it gives me renewed hope for life and renewed motivation to do things. Even for just those few years. Would it be worth it? How much for a replacement device? How much for the replacement of batteries? What kind of warranty do I get. I mean if they put it in and it, God forbid, malfunctions. But a pace maker could malfunction as well. Questions to be answered.

nicktimeflyer.com

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Before Initial Consult

The surgeon is Dr. Thomas Corbyons out of Deland, about fifty miles north of here. I will set up a consult and see if I can proceed from there. This gives me a sense that I am doing something about my health.. A good feeling, even if it doesn't work. At least I tried. Let's look at the positive side of the experience. If it does work, so much will change.
I think that the new motivation that I should feel will help towards getting more art work done. More projects started. More hours at work to help pay off more bills. We will see. One can only approach things of this nature with cautious hope, and not expansive dreams.

(Corbyons is a doctor that likes to talk, and this causes extreme waits in waiting room.-editor)

nicktimeflyer.com

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thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

A letter to Edna, my Sister

Hi from Orlando!
the weather here in town is very enjoyable and refreshing. 70's during the days and 50's at night. Dry and crisp.
Please have me in your prayers. I am making a decision to have a VNS implant to fight the depression. It is like a pace maker for the brain. The insurance from work will cover most of it ( 70%) but I need to come up with the remaining cost. This could be up to 10,000 dollars. My IRA will most likely to be used. If it works, it could slow down the parade of drugs through the system, thus good for the liver. Good for the pocket book, and good for the over all income level, for I could have more energy to work a 40 hour week. I can only work 32 hours. Any over that and I have a break down. Anxiety and depression attacks. Migraines come and stay for weeks. And this is for an average 40 hour week, not a hugely busy week either. I am presently on 4 drugs. two that I can afford and the two that I can't, the doctor gives me from his samples. I can't go on like this for ever. But what ever works for the time being I am willing to try. I have turn it over to the Lord and it is a great peace of mind to do so. Also I am writing about what I am going through. It is on a blog www.mylifemyreflections.blogspot.com . I write when something new occurs in the VNS side of the treatment. But it helps me to see how I am doing on a month to month basis with the treatment with the drugs, and exercise and diet program that I try adhere to. I crave Reeses Peanutbutter cups and the machines at work have them a plenty. It is a comfort food and I find that the more comfort I have the tighter my clothes fit.
When the medications work I don't crave the comfort, for I don't need it. I am more confident, self assured, I remember happy memories. The memories are in and of themselves images and when depressed the memory images are not complete and are not as saturated with color as when I recall the same memory when I am "up". Some times the memories can't be recalled at all. I have to work on the recall and manually change the saturation of the image in order to help change the depression to a more "up" state.
However there are depressions that this will not work. I have tried to fill the bleak images with color, when it works I feel a little relieved.
I am trying a new way to fight this disease. I am using photographs to help me remember the good times. When I look at the photos I can recapture the feeling of the moment, and can try to concentrate on every detail, to magnify the effect. This phenomenon is from NLP tapes that I ran across years ago when I studied hypnosis. Training the brain to avert attacks. Or fight back.
Right now I am waiting for more info from the Cyberonics folks. They are getting a surgeon lined up for my procedure. Neurologist I believe. I will be in touch with the insurance specialist nurse that the Cyberonics folks use as a way to deal with the prospective implanted patient.
So all for now.

nicktimeflyer.com

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Cheryl takes a vacation

I have to wait to talk to my contact at Cyberonics, for she is taking some time to be off. What has occurred is that I have contacted the insurance company and I will have to, if my estimate of the charges is right, have to come up with $10,000 for the procedure. I have released the need to the universe. God, help me now. We will see what comes of this. Several things come to mind. My IRA. A new refinance of the house. Perhaps a better job, that has better benefits.
A better job, is what Dr. Figeuroa has suggested. Easy for him to say. But we will look for what we can. This would happen to anyone that is facing a high cost medical procedure.
Thank God that it is not life threatening, quality of life threatening, yes. It is a wake up call about the high cost of insurance and the fact that I can not make much more money at the job that I am at, I am topped out. I am beginning to look at options.

nicktimeflyer.com

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thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

The co-pay Sucks

On October the tenth the insurance company came through with the coverage for the implant of the VNS device. But there is a big block to getting the procedure because of the copay of 1000.00 and the need to pay 30% of allowable costs. My work place insurance has over the years been cut bit by bit and now I am thinking of getting some kind of supplemental insurance.
Cheryl called me on Friday last and said she could talk to me about the copay. I've not have had the time to call her back; I've been working long hours and all day shifts. I will get back to her very soon.
I believe the cost of the procedure is 30,000,and I don't have that kind of funding.
A co-worker reported that maybe I can work out a deal with a surgeon that would just take the amount that the insurance pays and not want anymore. This type of deal is called assignment. I will take that up with Cheryl and the doctor.As yet I have not been assigned to a surgeon.
Doctor Figeuroa said that he wanted me to wait for three months to see what the Cymbalta will do. I am at 90 mil of Cymbalta, 200mil of Provigal, 60mil of paxil, and 50 mil of melaris. I am hoping if I have this procedure done that the amount of medications will go down, that I will be more stable emotionally, that the medications that I do take would work better and that I can better manage the disease.
I have noticed that when I am up and not on the borderline with depression that I am
more confident, less sheepist, quicker in response, more witty in combating sarcasm, and less clingy to negative thoughts. That is in essence the quality of life is there. I can handle life better in many ways. This may indeed sound selfish, but I don't have the time to sit and stew and try new self help plans that sound good, but in the end go nowhere.
In the vein of self help, I have tried everything under the sun. Nutritional pathways have worked for a few weeks, and then they are impotent and I am at square one again.
This up and down, uneven life that I have had to live only makes problems seem larger than life itself.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com

Information Quest

The Cymbalta upgrade did the trick. I can now remember when I have been happy. (Having to have a drug to remember when I was happy.) Over the past month Dave and I have gone to LA to celebrate our 30th anniversary and we had the best time. It is the quality of life that I am after.  On the vacation the colors seemed so rich, so vivid, and they had a quality of cuteness about them that had me laughing. Upon returning to the daily routine of work the depression came on strong again. I tried to recall the vacation experience, and the colors were less vivid. Some of the images were not all there. Partial images floated around in my memory. I manually put the colors back into the memory and the depression decreased.
The Cyberonics Corp. has paired me with an insurance specialist by the name of Cheryl and she has sent more paperwork for me to follow up on. The folks at Dr. Figeuroa's office have sent info in to Cheryl and I will follow up on my end. When I tried to contact therapist Anne Bercik I could not get in touch with her. Her phone number(s) are not working. But I will try through the State of Florida licensing board. Cheryl wants a list of the pharmaceutical medications that I have been on and the people at Walgreens said that all I needed was an ID and they could research it for me. I will also find out what I need to know on how I am to get my hospital records of when I went in for psychiatric problems.
I know that I have not had as much a problem as some people in the area of hospitalization, but there are and were days that I should have gone in, but I felt that others would stigmatize me for that.

nicktimeflyer.com

cafepress.com/bubbledreams

thesilhouetteshop.yolasite.com