Jennifer Bette called me today and stated that the out of pocket expense would be about 5000 dollars and there were some other costs that she has to nail down. There would be at least 1000 dollars in deductible to pay as well. for me anything under 10000 would be a go. Of course, the less the better. So it took a month to get this information. And it came with a stipulation that there are a few more costs as yet unknown. I swear that I almost went to the newspaper and was going to let them know that the hospital staff was uncooperative, and ineffective at best. We shall see.
I called Cheryl and let her know that Jennifer finally called and thanked her for help. We still have to get through the implantation and activation of the device.
Dr. Corbyons appointment is for 2/14/08. He will at that time go over a few more things, and then we will set the appointment for the procedure. I am not so sure about why this appointment is necessary, we will see.
I am trying to realize that this procedure will not be a panacea for the thought patterns that persist. I have OCD thoughts, thoughts of terrible sins for which I will be rejected from heaven(?) Just plain stupid continuous thoughts, but they are not there when I am up. So I know somehow that they are connected. Whether it is caused by lack of serotonin or one of the other nerotransmitters, OCD thoughts are insidious and just a part of the condition.
Also memory is impaired. I can write to someone on one day and completely forget about it just the next day. This happens everyday all day long with just about everything in my life. Perhaps this procedure will help the memories come back.
I can see a movie and not remember any of it just a few weeks afterwords. Maybe this is common when the movie is a dud. But this happens almost with every thing I engage in.
Self esteem has always been a problem, and now at 52 it seems that I have developed a compassionate inner voice that is at times small, but it is growing. this is important, for if you can not accept that your mind, your mental part is deffective your self esteem falters. And you crumble. People on the outside can not see that you are incompassitated, for physically you are whole. So there can't be anything wrong with you. If you appear "up" in your dealings with people it doesn't matter that you
are on 5 different medications just to get along,so that you can work, and not cry and not dwell on suicidal thoughts all the time.
I called Cheryl and let her know that Jennifer finally called and thanked her for help. We still have to get through the implantation and activation of the device.
Dr. Corbyons appointment is for 2/14/08. He will at that time go over a few more things, and then we will set the appointment for the procedure. I am not so sure about why this appointment is necessary, we will see.
I am trying to realize that this procedure will not be a panacea for the thought patterns that persist. I have OCD thoughts, thoughts of terrible sins for which I will be rejected from heaven(?) Just plain stupid continuous thoughts, but they are not there when I am up. So I know somehow that they are connected. Whether it is caused by lack of serotonin or one of the other nerotransmitters, OCD thoughts are insidious and just a part of the condition.
Also memory is impaired. I can write to someone on one day and completely forget about it just the next day. This happens everyday all day long with just about everything in my life. Perhaps this procedure will help the memories come back.
I can see a movie and not remember any of it just a few weeks afterwords. Maybe this is common when the movie is a dud. But this happens almost with every thing I engage in.
Self esteem has always been a problem, and now at 52 it seems that I have developed a compassionate inner voice that is at times small, but it is growing. this is important, for if you can not accept that your mind, your mental part is deffective your self esteem falters. And you crumble. People on the outside can not see that you are incompassitated, for physically you are whole. So there can't be anything wrong with you. If you appear "up" in your dealings with people it doesn't matter that you
are on 5 different medications just to get along,so that you can work, and not cry and not dwell on suicidal thoughts all the time.
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